I wish you could remember
The day I walked in on you
Fumbling with the pistol
Confused and bewildered
It’s hard to load a gun
When the tumor in your brain
Won’t allow you to recall
Your own name
The agony of your life
Brought you here
Too many excesses
Nothing in moderation
Especially your brutality
The cancer actually merciful now
Blocking out your pain
Slowly turning out the lights
.
This poem is perfect! In structure, rhythm, and imagery. Very impressive. I like it very much.
ReplyDeletewow, I hope this is not based on anything real that happened to you...
ReplyDeleteoh Patrick, this is so poignant, especially for me right now. The poem says so much in so few words. Well done. Rosemary
ReplyDeleteSensational Patrick.
ReplyDeleteCostas
Very powerful images and words here. Haunting.
ReplyDeleteI'm speechless. This is beautiful.
ReplyDeleteWow. This is amazing and so heart wrenching. I'm glad I decided to follow.
ReplyDeleteWow. This is amazing and so heart wrenching. I'm glad I decided to follow.
ReplyDeleteWow. This is amazing and so heart wrenching. I'm glad I decided to follow.
ReplyDeleteWow. This is amazing and so heart wrenching. I'm glad I decided to follow.
ReplyDeletePoignant and strong, this is the sort of poem that gives you a metaphorical slap in the face. I've always loved those sorts of poems :)
ReplyDeletewow, that was powerful
ReplyDeleteI wont ask.
ReplyDeleteWow..the pain just fell off the page Pat..So well written for such a tragic subject..
ReplyDeleteWow...that's powerful!
ReplyDeletefrightening. to be the one stumbling with the pistol. so it wasn't a misread - we are brothers of a different brutal upbringing. I feel this, I feel you.
ReplyDeleteVery moving, and very very sad.
ReplyDeleteWow. That is pretty emotional. Definitely chokes me up a bit. Good stuff.
ReplyDeleteI like it too. Very painful.
ReplyDeleteAnn - Thanks! that's good to hear, because I know nothing about structure...
ReplyDeleteJoe - The person fumbling with the gun is my mom. I guess I should do a post about happened after I walked in..
Steadfast Ahoy - Thanks Rosemary! so sorry about your friend!
Costas - Thanks my friend!
BB - Why thank you!
Micael - Thanks Buddy! Coming from you, that is a great compliment
Megan - Thanks so much! I'm glad you decided to follow also. Keep on writing...
Sam - Thanks, yeah real life does that to us...
MamaTink - Thanks so much!
Warren - It's not a problem. My evil and wicked mother had a brain tumor. She decided to kill herself. I just happened to walk in...
Lynne - Thanks! If you read more of my childhood stories, it may not seem so tragic...
Marlene - Thanks, I appreciate it!
Jhon - Thanks Jhon! I really need to post a "the rest of the story" on this...
Nat - Thanks! Karma came home to roost...
Copyboy - Thanks Jesse! You know a lot of the old stories on my blog, so it wasn't as sad as it probably should have been.
California Girl - Thanks so much!
That is the most intense thing I have read in a while. Your poetry is on par with your photography. Well done.
ReplyDeleteTruly wonderful poem. Touched me very deeply, thank you.
ReplyDeleteWow Pat, Such a well written version of a serious event, Good Job my Friend.
ReplyDeleteChuck - Thanks Chuck! I wish...
ReplyDeleteSenoraG - Thanks so much!
Jimmy - Thanks for the nice words. Tomorrow I'm posting the rest of the story...
How horrifically torrific.... :( gorgeous poem but horrific image... :)
ReplyDeleteI know someone who recently died of a brain tumor and you seemed to have captured the fear and sadness expressed to me by his wife as she slowly saw the lights of her husband's eyes die out.
ReplyDeleteWow, Pat, you are such a talent. I am glad to know that this is addressed to your mom. I was really curious. It makes more sense to me now.
ReplyDeleteKeep faith.
xoRobyn
There is such a strange, moving mix of compassion and contempt here. Very powerful. - G
ReplyDeleteKimberly - Thanks! Truth stranger than fiction...
ReplyDeleteDrSoosie - Unfortunately, the ability to have pity for my mom, is another one of the things she took from me at an early age. I am truly sorry about your friend...
Robyn - Thanks! The poem is most certainly not an "ode" to her.
Georgina - Thanks so much! Unfortunately, the contempt won out.
A well written, powerful poem.
ReplyDeleteSQ - Thanks so much!
ReplyDeleteNow I get it.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful, Just beautiful.
ReplyDelete