Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Slowly Turning Out The Lights

I wish you could remember
The day I walked in on you
Fumbling with the pistol
Confused and bewildered
It’s hard to load a gun
When the tumor in your brain
Won’t allow you to recall
Your own name

The agony of your life
Brought you here
Too many excesses
Nothing in moderation
Especially your brutality
The cancer actually merciful now
Blocking out your pain
Slowly turning out the lights


.

33 comments:

  1. This poem is perfect! In structure, rhythm, and imagery. Very impressive. I like it very much.

    ReplyDelete
  2. wow, I hope this is not based on anything real that happened to you...

    ReplyDelete
  3. oh Patrick, this is so poignant, especially for me right now. The poem says so much in so few words. Well done. Rosemary

    ReplyDelete
  4. Very powerful images and words here. Haunting.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm speechless. This is beautiful.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wow. This is amazing and so heart wrenching. I'm glad I decided to follow.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Wow. This is amazing and so heart wrenching. I'm glad I decided to follow.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Wow. This is amazing and so heart wrenching. I'm glad I decided to follow.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow. This is amazing and so heart wrenching. I'm glad I decided to follow.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Poignant and strong, this is the sort of poem that gives you a metaphorical slap in the face. I've always loved those sorts of poems :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. Wow..the pain just fell off the page Pat..So well written for such a tragic subject..

    ReplyDelete
  12. frightening. to be the one stumbling with the pistol. so it wasn't a misread - we are brothers of a different brutal upbringing. I feel this, I feel you.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Very moving, and very very sad.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Wow. That is pretty emotional. Definitely chokes me up a bit. Good stuff.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Ann - Thanks! that's good to hear, because I know nothing about structure...

    Joe - The person fumbling with the gun is my mom. I guess I should do a post about happened after I walked in..

    Steadfast Ahoy - Thanks Rosemary! so sorry about your friend!

    Costas - Thanks my friend!

    BB - Why thank you!

    Micael - Thanks Buddy! Coming from you, that is a great compliment

    Megan - Thanks so much! I'm glad you decided to follow also. Keep on writing...

    Sam - Thanks, yeah real life does that to us...

    MamaTink - Thanks so much!

    Warren - It's not a problem. My evil and wicked mother had a brain tumor. She decided to kill herself. I just happened to walk in...

    Lynne - Thanks! If you read more of my childhood stories, it may not seem so tragic...

    Marlene - Thanks, I appreciate it!

    Jhon - Thanks Jhon! I really need to post a "the rest of the story" on this...

    Nat - Thanks! Karma came home to roost...

    Copyboy - Thanks Jesse! You know a lot of the old stories on my blog, so it wasn't as sad as it probably should have been.

    California Girl - Thanks so much!

    ReplyDelete
  16. That is the most intense thing I have read in a while. Your poetry is on par with your photography. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Truly wonderful poem. Touched me very deeply, thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wow Pat, Such a well written version of a serious event, Good Job my Friend.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Chuck - Thanks Chuck! I wish...

    SenoraG - Thanks so much!

    Jimmy - Thanks for the nice words. Tomorrow I'm posting the rest of the story...

    ReplyDelete
  20. How horrifically torrific.... :( gorgeous poem but horrific image... :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. I know someone who recently died of a brain tumor and you seemed to have captured the fear and sadness expressed to me by his wife as she slowly saw the lights of her husband's eyes die out.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Wow, Pat, you are such a talent. I am glad to know that this is addressed to your mom. I was really curious. It makes more sense to me now.
    Keep faith.
    xoRobyn

    ReplyDelete
  23. There is such a strange, moving mix of compassion and contempt here. Very powerful. - G

    ReplyDelete
  24. Kimberly - Thanks! Truth stranger than fiction...

    DrSoosie - Unfortunately, the ability to have pity for my mom, is another one of the things she took from me at an early age. I am truly sorry about your friend...

    Robyn - Thanks! The poem is most certainly not an "ode" to her.

    Georgina - Thanks so much! Unfortunately, the contempt won out.

    ReplyDelete

This blog is word verification free.
IS YOURS?
I love your comments and will do my best to respond to each and every one.