Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Dogs Are Sociopaths -- Part 4 -- Perversion

Do dogs have poor vision?
I'm pretty sure that the opposite is true. So then, why do most male dogs have the “need” to hump everything in sight? It could be a female dog, another male dog, a piece of furniture, the family cat, your leg, the leg of an unsuspecting visitor, or even the leg of your child!
Many dogs are perverts…



  1. Hilarious! I can't stand dogs! Male or female. If I'd ever had a male dog going around humping random objects I'm sure i would have been completely mortified!! ha ha!

  2. This is SOOO true! My poodle tries to hump my arm every time I get into bed! He also has an unnatural fetish for chewing my underwear (I have a lovely collection of crotchless panties courtesy of my dog but I'm afraid they're not very sexy!)

  3. I think they know that because they are dogs they can get away with it.

  4. that sign is making me giggle! pervert dogs, yep

  5. And please don't tell me it's a dominance issue! Such an overused line.

  6. DiamondsOnMySoles - I can stand them, I just don't want to own one (again).

    Lola - That's too darn funny! I used to have a friend who had a great poodle, but that's the only one I really every liked (poodle that is).

    Budd - I hadn't thought about that! It might be true!

    baygirl - I thought about dogs the second I saw the sign. Out here we call them "speed bumps" not "humps."

    m. - Nah! It's just about humping.

    Clarissa - I guess they just can't help it!

  7. HA! That was a good Hump Day post!!!

  8. You are SO FUNNY, Pat. Thanks for this post. I needed the laugh.

  9. They are perverts! I won't even tell you what my female dog does every day. Love the sign.

  10. Just think if we were wired that way! Oh, wait a minute...

  11. Like I said yesterday - Dogs are the dogs of the world.

  12. Hump day! HA!

    It's also:

    'May the 4th be with you' day! Heehee.

  13. yeah, just the other evening while sitting at a friend's house her little dog walked up to me and started humping my leg. what is with them???? I'm a cat person myself. a cat would never ever behave in such an undignified manner.

  14. You called this one. My dog comes up while I'm at the kitchen counter making his dinner and tries to hump my calf. I mean really...before dinner??

  15. As long as my alpha female boxer lives, my male lab will neither hump nor even lift his leg to pee. It's an interesting dynamic. (The girl, however, does lift her leg. And it's quite a sight.)

  16. dogs are def perverts!

    haha, aw, Pat i needed that.

    ...and that sign is too funny! :D

  17. Dogs- LOVE WEDNESDAY PAT!!!!!! WHY; BECAUSE IT'S _____ DAY.... 3, 2 , 1 --BOOM!


  18. Perversion and Poor Vision. Say these two words enough and they do sound the same!

    Patient: "Doc! What's wrong with my eyes?"

    Doc: "It's a clear case of Perversion!"

  19. Ms A - happy to be of service!

    Brian - That's funny!

    Robyn - Thanks Robyn! I did also!

    Belle - uh yes! Please don't tell me...LOL!

    Alex - that's funnier than my post! Hey, sorry about the mixup at your place!

    Jhon - I guess that's why when someone is called a "dog," that it has a negative implication.

    Marlene - Corny!

    Ms Becky - Maybe they would, but they wouldn't let you catch them doing it!

    Chuck - Maybe he's just rewarding you for the food!

    Joan - Thanks Joan!

    altadenahiker - That's very interesting. They have a very structured pecking order. Does she ride a harley?

    Betty - most def! I'm glad you liked it. I had to snap a photo of the sign!

    John - Oh yeah! Isn't it great how some things work out?

    Betty - Only from the mind of "bossy betty!" It's a good one!

  20. Aren't they a bit like some famous homo sapiens?? clearing demarcation of the fact "I was here before you". :)

  21. Bwahahahah!! I am still laughing inside my head.

  22. My mom always just says that they feel the need, but I really don't get it. I mean, think about if that were a human? How much would we judge them and try to film them on "To Catch a Predator?" Dogs are weird. They're just lucky they're so cute, too.

  23. That sign is too funny!

    Thanks for all the reminders about why I will never have a dog. Cats are far from perfect but they are saints compared to dogs.

  24. Have they begun to assemble outside your house with placards defending their reputation?


  25. That is annoying. I also hate the smaller ones that are obsessed with sniffing and biting at your shoes, even while you're wearing them.

    Great sign, haha. Remind me not to drive through that neighborhood. Too impersonal.

  26. My dog could hump his favorite toy at 15 mph for longer than 200 feet! Love the sign!

  27. Rekha - You are so right! I think it's the main pastime in Hollywood.

    Pat - Thanks! They are pretty darn funny...

    ATL - The worst thing about it, is the look on their face! Oh yeah, I think some of them are human, or the other way aroun!

    SQ - I saw it in Arizona. Out here they are called "speed bumps." I agree about cats. They aren't getting off the hook here. I'll be posting some stuff about them a bit later.

    Esther - The dogs or all my nieghbors who own them? I hope they don't set up a blockade...

    Tim - Yep! The post office says that most of their dog bite problems come from small yappy dogs.

    laughingmom - Ah yes! I see he is trained well... Thanks for commenting!

  28. Interesting signs. I think speed humps are called speed bumps here. I'll have to pay better attention to know that for sure, though.

  29. Not only male dogs, females also act alike. Bitch my father did with my son when he was two years old and me when my leg was extended. Have a nice weekend.

  30. Pat... my thinking was along the line of Alex's... where are you going with this "dog" story...? :-D

  31. EG Wow - I'm sure you are right. Arizona is the only place I've seen them called "humps."

    Leovi - They just do what whatever they feel like.

    KaLynn - Thanks!

    Francisca - I'm going wherever A.D.
    D. leads me.

  32. Aww, my poor Jake has had his nuts removed, he's a total innocent as far as humping goes!

  33. Oh my gosh I know, it's ridiculous. Makes me glad that my dog when I was a kid wasn't like that.


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