Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Dogs Are Sociopaths -- Part 1 -- Dishonesty

First of several posts relating to man's best friend. Some of them were posted a long time ago when I had 3 followers (one of them being me).
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate dogs, I just don’t trust them…
Although most dogs would prefer to poop outside, it’s not a requirement. They are more than willing to do it wherever they happen to be when the urge hits. It could be on your furniture, in front of the door, or even on your clothing. They are not even opposed to leaving a "gift" right on your pillow! And after he’s done it, when you come home, your dog will dash to the front door to greet you and act like nothing happened! Like he doesn’t know what he left on your pillow! When you find it later and call him on it, he’s just going to cock his head to one side and give you a look that says “what are you talking about? I haven’t even been in this room all day!” Dogs are liars…

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I have no idea where I got this cartoon from. If it belongs to you and you don't want it here, just let me know...

64 comments:

Dr Blood said...

I've never really understood the appeal of dogs since I am a devout cat person but I'm going to follow this series of posts anyway because it's funny. ;)

Huntress said...

You must lead an eventful life, one full of surprises. Living with cats, I have learned to Turn on the Light before entering a dark room.

Love your blog and the A to Z challenge that brought me here.

Steadfast Ahoy! said...

My dog loves me. My cat leaves uglies all around my house!!! He hates me. I love my dog. I am impatiently waiting for the cat to turn up his toes and DIE.
Roseamry

Margaret Benbow said...

Pat, you seem to have a very brassy, confident dog with no shame. My dog that I loved the best was the opposite--she'd have an accident, then creep around with such a tragic face that I'd hug her, give her a treat and say, "Never mind, pupsie! It doesn't matter! Do it again if you have the need!" I wonder NOW (years later) if she was laughing up her sleeve...

Budd said...

I prefer a more self sufficient animal. For that reason I go with cats. Don't have one right now though. My daughter has a snake and two geckos. I tell you, I prefer the snake as a pet. You only have to feed it once a week, cage clean up is pretty quick and easy and it doesn't make any noise.

Stephen Tremp said...

Our dog will poop in our bedroom if we leave for an extended period. Its as if he is saying, "That'll teach you to leave me alone." He's just a Yorkie so they're little tootsie rolls. But still, its just the principle of the matter.

MeredithDuck said...

One of the reasons I like dogs more than cats is that dogs will seem remorseful when you catch them in the act of doing something wrong. Cats will just look at you and when you yell at them they'll just walk away as if to say "I don't have to take this". Cats have too much attitude for my taste.

Mary Aalgaard said...

Funny reflections on dogs, great blog, and fabulous photos. Thanks to AJC for linking me to you.

Pat Tillett said...

Dr Blood - Our dog died a long time ago and I'm now also a devout cat person!

Huntress - thanks so much for stopping by! We now have four cats. Each one of them different. Our poor dog put up with a lot of cat hijinks...

Rosemary - You should explain to your cat that you promise to give up trying to control it. Once it knows that you both agree that it is superior to humans, things will turn around.

Margaret - I'm sure she was laughing up your sleeve. Bonus points to your dog for admitting guilt!

Budd - I'm with you! Big snakes and kittens are not a good match, me thinks...

Stephen - Yum, tootsie rolls!
You are right, it's all about the principle...

Meredith - If we give up our need to control our cats, they cease punishing and trying to convert us!
I gave up and all is well...

Bossy Betty said...

My dog has me totally trained. The cats have given her permission to boss me around when they are napping.

Oilfield Trash said...

I miss having a dog, but I don't miss cleaning up after it.

Sally in WA said...

Great post, Pat. I'm still chuckling.

Phillip said...

What's the difference between your dog and your wife?
Your'e dog is always glad to see you!

I love dogs and cats.

Monti said...

Goodness, I'm glad we don't have a dog. You seem to know them well.

Nice to meet you because of A to Z promo by Alex!

Monti
NotesAlongTheWay

Naturedigital said...

They are just like that Patrick.
Worse than humans .
Happy Easter to you.
Costas

Marguerite said...

So funny, but true! When my black lab had a litter of 9 pups, I really got to see this theory, first hand. lol

Nariane said...

I love my cat and I love my dog.

I love all animals... except for that ram who tried to flatten me last summer.

We were visiting a viking era grave site. Perhaps one of my ancestors ate one of his. pffft. It's ON SHEEP BOI. ;)

Ella said...

Fun post and so true! I have a beagle, those big eyes get me every time~

Brian said...

There were two dogs that lived here BB (before Brian). They must have been pretty good as I have not smelled any hint of trouble!

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

I think they learn those tricks from the family cat...

Pearl said...

I've always suspected that dogs WANT something from me, something I can never figure out...

Pearl

One Woman's Thoughts said...

Cute cartoon and post.
Never had a cat, although I love them . . . allergic.
My dog never left surprises, but I sure do miss the little furry guy.

Right now I have a pet shrimp, the size of a grain of rice, in an enclosed egg shape eco system. No feeding, no water changing, no cleaning up . . . she's (???? - just guessing I am either 50% right on that or 50% wrong on the sex).
I travel a lot, so for now, she is the perfect pet. She's 4 years old. I find myself talking to her . . . like she cares. LOL

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I think you've consorted with some evil doggies.

Most dogs I'm familiar with are desperately anxious NOT to poop indoors unless they have no other choice and then they're very contrite about it and guilty. They're creatures of habit and that means no toilet business in the house.

Of course, there has to be a rogue out there. :)

Ms. A said...

I can't help chuckling. My daughter just offered to give me her youngest dog that can seem to get the hang of doing her business outside!

Tiger85 said...

I like your blog. I'm a new follower. =)

Poetry, Quotes and Book Reviews.

pitchertaker said...

A. Horowitz's book: "Inside of a Dog" is a must read for any dog lover.

TS Hendrik said...

I have only ever loved one dog, and she wasn't even mine. I have yet to meet a dog I'd want to own since. Course, the fact that I'm allergic probably doesn't help.

Matthew MacNish said...

Hah!

I came over from Alex's, and am now a new follower.

Nice ta meet ya, Pat!

Bare bilder - Pictures only said...

Funny post, but a bit serious too I think.
I love dogs, but they have a short memory when they have done something wrong.
Thanks for your nice comments in my blog Patrick. I appreciate it very much:))
Wish you and your family a happy easter:)
Hugs from Norway:))

Rekha said...

Well your dog seems to enjoy getting a rise out of you....no pets at our place...no one fancies them...would have loved one, maybe a cat...I don't think face licking is my cup of tea....enjoyed this....
Btw an award for you if you would be kind enough to accept... click here

Kal said...

I always felt that dogs give it up to easily. A cat makes you work for it's love and I can respect an animal that has a healthy contempt for me. I trust nothing that loves me as unconditionaly as a dog does. I know that dog can just as easily abandon me for the next person with a treat to give him. A cat's loyalty is for life.

becca said...

i have a feeling this dog series has mor surprises coming

Lynda R Young said...

hahah I grew up with a dog, but she thought she was a cat so that was ok ;)

baygirl32 said...

my father actually quoted that comic to me when I got my dog!

Chuck said...

My youngest dog Cornelia fits this to a tee. I know it is because her momma tells her she is so damn cute. So spoiled.

Marlene said...

Well, as an equal opportunity dog AND cat lover, I'd have to say that SNAKES are what you should be dissin'.....errr....hissin'?

faye said...

That was cute. Reminds me of the
look my little schnauzer use to give me after she had finished my drink while I was out of the room.

Ms. Becky said...

ha! you made me laugh. I tolerate dogs. Cats are way smarter and cooler. so. did your dog actually leave you a gift on your pillow????

Copyboy said...

I'd say Guinea Pigs fall into that category too, except they can reach the bed.

Pat Tillett said...

Mary - First off, thanks so much for commenting and signing on! I truly do appreciate it. I'm right there with you on AJC!

Bossy Betty - The cat just can't help it! We used to have one dog and three cats...Poor dog! Thanks for the nice comment at AJC.

Oilfield Trash - Actually, our last one was pretty darn nice. Her biggest problem was she ALWAYS had to do her duty on concrete! Awkward!

Sally - Thanks Sally! More to come! Hope you are having a good week!

Phillip - Unfortunately, the dog has been gone for several years!

Monti - thanks so much for commenting! I'm sorry that ours died, but I'm much more of a cat person anyway...

Costas - Overall, dogs are okay with me. I just don't want one!
Thanks!

Marguerite - Wow! That must have been a lot of work! thanks so much!

Nariane - Hi there! I like them both, but wouldn't own a dog again. Too much work! You gotta watch out for those darn Rams...they ram!

Ella - thanks Ella! I love Beagles! I also love Bagels...

Brian - Two dogs are 10 times the work of one dog! keep smelling!

Alex - You are probably right, but at least the cat is smart enough to manipulate them! Thanks for the spotlight today my friend!

Pearl - I figured it out! They want you to be their mother so they don't have to ever grow up!

OWT - thanks so much! I'm allergic to cats also! That's why we only have four of them!!! My "me or the cats" ultimatum didn't go very well. A pet shrimp! That is just genius! We recently had a 6 year old feeder goldfish die. He was HUGE and must of cost a 500 dollars because he wouldn't stop growing!

TVA - Yes, I have! You are right about what dogs would really rather do, but it's about the owners really! I agree with the dogs, I'd much rather do my business in the back yard!

Ms A - Oh yeah! People are always more than willing to give up that problem! Hope you are having a good week!

Tier85 - Thanks so much, I appreciate you doing both!

pitchertaker - I wouldn't call myself a dog "lover," but I'll check out the book. Thanks!

Tim - You got a very good reason not to have one. I watched a friends tea-cup Chihuahua for six months once. It was my favorite dog ever. Rarely barked, wanted to do his business outside if possible, but was TOTALLY paper trained if he couldn't. Oh yeah, he also fit in my jacket pocket..
Ahhh, Shrimpy...

Matthew MacNish - thanks so much! Very nice meeting you as well!

Berit - Thanks so much! Maybe a bit serious... It's my pleasure to leave nice comments, because you are a nice person and have a great blog!

Rekha - No dogs now, I'm happy to say! Yep, but dog lovers love that face licking... thanks you so much for the award! I truly do appreciate it!!!

Kal - I totally agree! They are like overactive children! I'm with you about cats! You gotta earn a cat's love...

becca - You are right! I have some more coming!

Lynda - That's funny! I have a cat that acts like a dog!

baygirl - That's funny! Maybe I saw it in a newspaper!

Chuck - You gotta admit that she's a real cutie! I'm sure I said this before, but I always remember the video of them running through the snow.

Marlene - Hey, snakes have always treated me well. Dogs have issues with me because I know what they are all about...

faye - Was it a mixed drink? At least she didn't slurp part of it and leave the rest...

Ms. Becky - Nope, it wasn't my pillow! I might have taken that personally!

Jesse - It's the gerbils you really have to look out for!

Rawknrobyn.blogspot.com said...

This helps me appreciate our cat, who's been driving me bonkers but doesn't poop all over the place.
So, thanks, Pat!
xoRobyn

SquirrelQueen said...

Dogs are okay, as long as they belong to someone else, but they always seem so needy. I prefer a cat's "if I want something I'll let you know" attitude.

You can't get much more honest than a cat, they will tell you what they think in no uncertain terms.

N4M3L3SS said...

my dog bit me on the finger today cool blog following

Megan said...

I had a dog once. Biggest mistake of my life. You need a special kind of gene, I think, to be able to handle it. I still feel bad about the fact that he had to suffer until I found out for sure what I already knew. That I don't have it. The magic is not there and it will never be there.

At least I don't fake it. I think my brother (the only dog owner among the four of us) is faking it. It's not something you can tell someone, though.

Leovi said...

An educated person knows properly educate your dog. Greetings.

Katsidhe said...

I believe that I am the Alpha in the relationship with my dog. At least that's what I tell myself while picking up her deposits on our walk.

Talli Roland said...

Ha! I don't mind dogs, but I couldn't deal with the whole poop issue. That's why I love cats!

Rita said...

When we first met my hubby (The Old Salt) made it clear that he would prefer to have a dog, but, I came with a cat. So following the advice of his favorite author (John D. MacDonald) who stated in his book "The House Guest" that the optimal number of cats was more than one and less than three, he adopted another. But, his soft heart has now added two more, one of which required six months of force feeding to bring her back to good healthy.

Recently, he was ask to foster a dog and I was surprised to hear him say "I'm sorry, but I am now a cat person."

I know from experience though that if we forget to clean the litter box (or if the cat is ill) we can find they did there business wherever they happened to be, And, that could be our pillow.

Baby Sister said...

It's ohhh so true. One of the reasons if I ever own a dog, it will not be an inside dog.

Pat Tillett said...

Robyn - Cat's are far too refined to poop in the wrong place...

SQ - I'm with you! Dogs are as needy as a 3 year old kid...

N4M3L3SS - That's not good! Were you feeding him? Thanks so much!

Megan - Hi Megan! I used to have a girlfriend who's dog was just as high maintenance as she was!

Leovi - I wish it was so... Most people don't know how to do it, or don't try to...

Katsidhe - There you go! You think you are in charge, but you're not!

Talli - I'm with you. Since our last dog died. We've pledged never to get another one. All cats now!

Rita - John D. MacDonald, I think I've read every word he's written, but I'm not a dog person at all!
That was very nice of you guys to nurse that poor kitty back to health! To try to avoid that problem, we have several litter boxes. I'm glad your husband came over to the good side!

Baby Sister - Oh yeah! I agree...that's the only way!

Pat Tillett said...

Robyn - Cat's are far too refined to poop in the wrong place...

SQ - I'm with you! Dogs are as needy as a 3 year old kid...

N4M3L3SS - That's not good! Were you feeding him? Thanks so much!

Megan - Hi Megan! I used to have a girlfriend who's dog was just as high maintenance as she was!

Leovi - I wish it was so... Most people don't know how to do it, or don't try to...

Katsidhe - There you go! You think you are in charge, but you're not!

Talli - I'm with you. Since our last dog died. We've pledged never to get another one. All cats now!

Rita - John D. MacDonald, I think I've read every word he's written, but I'm not a dog person at all!
That was very nice of you guys to nurse that poor kitty back to health! To try to avoid that problem, we have several litter boxes. I'm glad your husband came over to the good side!

Baby Sister - Oh yeah! I agree...that's the only way!

Arlee Bird said...

I prefer dogs to cats, but I'm not letting any of them live inside my living space...Outside where they belong.


Lee
Tossing It Out

Georgina Dollface said...

And when a cat poops on your pillow, she WANTS you to know she did it. "That's what you get for buying the wrong brand of kitty litter!" (Not that that has ever happened to me before. Remind me again why I am a 'cat person'. Sometimes I wonder). - G

Chris Phillips said...

It depends on the dog. My Plott hound is an angel, my boxer is a moron.

Brenda's Arizona said...

Can't wait for part 2, Pat!

Cake Betch said...

Haha I have a cat at my mom's house that pisses everywhere. All the time. In any room of the house. While you're watching him.

I like dogs better because dogs are interested in you. Cats for the most part are totally independent.

John McElveen said...

Very Very Catty!!!!!!

LMBO!

John

Anthony J Langford said...

Take it your a cat person?
Well one is either one or the other. A night-owl or a lark.
Religous athiest...

etc....

Jhon Baker said...

Simply - you can never trust a dog - for they will always revert to being a dog when you least expect it.

Minoccio said...

so not true... my dog only does "it" outside or in the hall way... and she feels very guilty if she accidentally does it somewhere else... even if I forgive her and tell her it's ok, she will still act all guilty.

Jenny said...

Don't even get me started on the sociopathic tendencies of weiner dogs.

Anonymous said...

Wise kings generally have wise counsellors; and he must be a wise man himself who is capable of distinguishing one.

Francisca said...

No dog in house, no poop in house. That was our solution. Our sweet lovable Dobe had a big back yard to make horse tracks through the grass as he raced up and down... but he did not come inside.

Siddhartha Joshi said...

Hahahahaha...am quite fond of dogs, but agree with this as well :) I still find them to be innocent of their deeds :) :) :)