Tuesday, March 23, 2010

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

I did not write any of this. I wish I had, but I didn't. It was passed on to me by my sis-in-law.  You may have heard some (or all) of these before. It's not my normal kind of post. I needed a little chuckle, maybe you could use one also...

NICKNAMES
  • If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
  • If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat-Boy, Gas-man and Four-eyes.

 EATING OUT
  • When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
  • When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

 MONEY
  • A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
  • A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

 BATHROOMS
  • A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
  • The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 15 of these items.

 ARGUMENTS
  • A woman has the last word in any argument.
  • Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

 FUTURE
  • A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
  • A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife..

 MARRIAGE
  • A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
  • A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

 DRESSING UP
  • A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
  • A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

 NATURAL
  • Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
  • Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

 OFFSPRING
  • Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
  • A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
 
"A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!"

 

 

25 comments:

Alle said...

lol! awesome!

oh my goodness a lot if not ALL of those spring true.

ARGUMENTS

* A woman has the last word in any argument.
* Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


soooo true,

Funny Post pat.

The Anything Place said...

thats funny, thanks for the post I enjoyed it!

Naturedigital said...

They are all the bitter truth..
Great post Pat..
Have a nice day.. Costas..

TS Hendrik said...

That's hilarious. I read this off to my brother and we laughed.

Ian said...

HAHA great post!

Ms. Anthropy said...

I agree!

Sarah said...

I LOVED that! You really made me laugh!

I really enjoyed the quote of the day, no doubt about it! I also loved the sections of money, marriage, and offspring!! So funny!:P

Copyboy said...

I laughed my ass off at the 337 comment!!!!!!!!

Joe Cap said...

The bathroom thing is so true!!!
By the way, how is your wife's bit hand doing?

Mainland Streel said...

I agree with most of this except the dressing up thing. The author of this obviously has never met me! :)

But the waking up looking awesome thing is so true and SO not fair!

sarahjayne smythe said...

LMAO! Great post. :)

Ashley King said...

i totally agree!!! (with mainland).... this OBVIOUSLY doesn't apply to all women (unless i'm half man, but last time i peed, i'm pretty sure i sat down and last time i tried standing and peeing, well i was probably not sober) but either way, i'm certain i'm female and i do NOT like to dress up.... IIIII dressed up on our wedding day.... and will semi dress up for a funeral.... and for work, but only because i had to.... hopefully i'll be back in scrubs sometime in the near future and all of that dressing up nonsense will be far out of the picture... and i can sit and write from home.... that would be sooo cool. =)

but it was funny!

soft nonsense said...

I was going to totally show this to Girlfriend until this one came up:

NATURAL
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

Call me crazy, but one thing I've learned in my young life is to NEVER suggest that women deteriorate in looks....

Nat said...

Haha! Thanks....this made me smile after a long, fraught day at work :-)

ASBLACKASOBAMA said...

Ah, this reminds me of my favorite quote....

If a man speaks in the forest, and there's no woman around.... Is he still wrong?

Alice in Wonderland said...

LOL, I laughed at if a man speaks in the forest, and there is no woman around, is he still wrong?
Well of course he is! Only a guy can talk to himself!
ASBLACKASOBAMA, I have spotted you around quite a lot lately, so I'm coming to pay you a visit!


Hey Pat, we have been blogging the same length of time. I started last June too!

Pat Tillett said...

ASBLACKASOBAMA - Thats as good as any on the list...

Anthony J Langford said...

haha - gold... all very true
dont know if deep down we are actually any happier.. as women vent their emotions and we subdue ours.. but yes, we are less complicated with some seemingly surface procedures..
nice find..

Pat Tillett said...

Anthony - you are right. We are wired differently than they are!

Jerry said...

I loved that. I got a chuckle out of it for sure!

Kato said...

Hahaha! Gave me a chuckle. But, ummm, should I be worried that I have all the qualities that a man does?

.....

Andrea said...

LOVE IT! So true...unfortunately, so true! Aren't women DRAMATIC!!

tywo said...

Hahaha. I love this post.
I laughed all through, because it is so true!!

LOVE!

Powdered Toast Man said...

Haha, I loved it.

mrscolombo@yahoo.com said...

Ahhh....but men really like what women look like after they use all those 337 products in the bathroom, admit it. If they didn't, we would brush our teeth, shave the one hair on our chin, wash our face with soap and wipe it off with a towel and walk out the door...sounds good to me....but I would look like my sons and Carl would rather put up with the 337 products! LOL