Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Q and A 002 Women's Clothing

Question 002
From Powdered Toast Man

Have you ever worn woman's clothing that didn't involve it being Halloween?

Of course not! Well, actually I have…

Many years ago, I knew some folks that hosted a costume party 4 times a year. None of them involved Halloween. Written invitations were sent out via mail. In addition to the normal items included, there was also information relating to the theme of the party. If you did not dress appropriate to the announced theme, you did not get in the door. No matter how good a friend you were, you weren’t getting in. I had been to a couple of their parties; they were fun, but a lot of work.

My girlfriend at the time (not the one that almost got me killed) came running in from the mailbox shrieking with happiness. She told me that we got an invitation to one of the costume parties. She was beside herself with glee. I asked her what the theme of the party was.

“Pimps and whores” she told me.
“What’s so funny about that” I asked her.
“The guys have to be the whores!” she screamed while collapsing to the floor with laughter.
“I’m not going!
“Yes you are, because if you don’t, I’m going by myself!

I wasn’t at all happy about this. I finally rationalized that it wouldn’t be all that bad, because every guy there would be dressed like a prostitute, not just me. My girlfriend rented her costume; platform shoes, velvet suit, big hat with feathers in it, walking stick, etc.

The night of the party, I walked out of the house in a mini-skirt, fishnet stockings, heels, wig, full on make-up, fake nails, and knockers out to there. At the time, I wasn’t overweight at all, but I’m a big person. You can imagine how I looked.

The party was really good. Somebody took a bunch of photographs, had I gotten any of them, I'd attach one to this post.   YEAH RIGHT! It was hilarious to see the women trying to act “cool” and the guys trying to act “cheap.” I only knew that my spike heels were killing me. I eventually sprained my ankle and ditched them. A good time was had by all.

The party ended and we left. I threw the wig in the back seat of my VW and started home. We had gone about a mile when my throttle cable broke. Of course it was on a very busy and well lit street.  Don’t envision this happening in today’s world. Think about it happening in a world of no cell phones…

Picture me bending over the rear end of my bug, in my mini-skirt. On second thought don’t! I did have my own underwear on, but still, don't do it.  By the time I realized I couldn’t fix it myself, I had already been honked at several times.

We needed to get to a phone, in a big hurry! There were a couple of brightly lit stores that were pretty close by. They both had public phones, but I insisted that we just pass right by them and walk into the residential area. I stopped at the first house that had lights on. We called a tow truck and went back to the car and waited. Of course the tow truck driver couldn’t stop smiling while he hooked up my car. I explained the “rules” of the party to him, but he just shook his head and kept smiling. I’ve never gone out in public dressed in women’s clothing again. Wait, I mean I’ve never dressed in women’s clothing again.

Well Jamie, I hope that answers your question…


------------------------
I'm adding this after the fact...
Joe Cap mentioned something about whether or not this was worse than another incident where a girlfriend of mine almost got me shot. I forgot to mention that these two fine young ladies grew up together and were best friends.

.

35 comments:

Georgina Dollface said...

Oh Jamie, thank you for asking that question!
That was a hilarious story. I'm surprised someone actually opened the door to you in the middle of the night and let you use their phone! - G

KarenG said...

Oh goodness this is hilarious! I'm picturing all of it. Wish I weren't but I am. I like your description of the party, the women trying to act tough, the men cheap. LOL!

Shrinky said...

Oh Gawwwd, how hysterical! Too funny for words. Brings to mind the time I was (wrongfully, of course) locked up overnight in a cell, dressed in nothing but a basque, fishnets, and a pair of fluffy slippers (a long, long story - which I may re-post one day)!

Thanks for making me chuckle, and know I'm not the only one..

baygirl32 said...

Nice slip "I’ve never gone out in public dressed in women’s clothing again."
I'm laughing at the mental image I have

MeredithDuck said...

Hi. Larry. Us.

Copyboy said...

You can't say, "don't picture something." and expect me NOT to visualize it. Thanks a lot!!!!!

The Wife of a Dairyman said...

That is too funny! I can only imagine how you felt calling that tow truck driver...LOL! You must track down a photo!

Nat said...

Hahaha! Wish you had some pics!This reminds me of the time my then boyfriend (now husband) almost got arrested for "soliciting"... walking home from a Rocky Horror Picture Show themed party in my clothes :-)

dot said...

haha, I bet that was a hoot! I would love to have seen some pictures.
Good story!

Vencora said...

you do realize that by the time you told us not to picture it, it was too late?

tapirgal said...

You have the best stories. Only YOU would have car trouble under those circumstances with no backup clothing on board!

Joe Cap said...

So this was NOT the girlfriend who almost got you killed...but if she got you into this mess...which is worse?

The Vegetable Assassin said...

I believe it's some divine law that when in a ridiculous situation that has the potential to cause the maximum embarrassment, IT WILL HAPPEN. :) There's nothing funnier than men in women's clothes. It just looks so awkward and wrong and hilarious. How dare you not find those photos though? Pffft.

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Dude, never in a million years...

Pat Tillett said...

Georgina - Yeah! Thanks Jamie! (NOT)...I'm surprised also.

Karen - For me, it was somewhere between hilarious and pathetic!

Shrinky - I'm not going to wait for you to repost it, I'm going hunting for it in your old posts.

baygirl - I won't allow the mental image to form! It's too scary...

MeredithDuck - It sure is now! I know I've forgotten some of the details.

Copyboy - Thanks for visualizing! NOT!!!

Nancy - I know! Why in the world didn't I have a change of clothes in the car?

Nat - Nope, I hope all photos were destroyed! Maybe you should post that story on your blog!

dot - Thanks! Such was my life...

Vencora - That was my evil ploy...

tapirgal - Thanks so much! I know! Everywhere I turned, another ordeal.

Joe - I'll have to say the almost getting shot was worse. I should have included the fact that this woman, was the best friend of the other one...yeah, I know...

Alex - What was I to do? She was one of my favorite types of people. A bartender!

The Retired One said...

We demand that you post a photo on your blog of that glamourous outfit!! (Begging you to!!) LOL

Betsy from Tennessee said...

Oh what a funny story, Pat.... But ---I am disappointed... I wanted to see pictures!!!!! Darn!!!

They have a 'woman-less' wedding down here about once a year as a fund-raiser... Men do the entire wedding.... SO---they always choose the huge, pot-bellied man to be the bride.... Maybe they want people to think is that 'she' i pregnant... It's always hilarious --and they make tons of money for charity.

Betsy

Shrinky said...

Pat, you are such a pure delight (see my big, wide grin?)! I kinda' hate these folks who hi-jack post's by inserting their own links, but since you have already been over for a fruitless rummage, I'm thrilled to point you in the right direction!

http://shrinky1.blogspot.com/2010/03/it-wasnt-me.html

xx

Pat Tillett said...

Joan - I'd post it is had it...maybe! a big maybe!

Betsy - Sorry, no pics! I'll bet that charity event is something to see.

Shrinky - I just left your blog! that is one of the funniest things I've read in a while! Talk about everything that could go wrong, going wrong. That was really a really good post!

RawknRobynsGoneBlogWild said...

You can always count on that Powdered Toast Man to corner you with those very personal questions that get you to unload! He's pretty conniving that way.
xoRobyn

Shrinky said...

You almost got shot?? Okay, I need to dig deeper now..off for a delve, I'll keep you posted!

Pat Tillett said...

Robyn - So true! It's all about "full disclosure!"

Shrinky - I just saw your comment at that link...I'm on my way!

myvisualillusions said...

Im sorry that I don't have time to read your story right now. It is quite a long story haha!
Thank you for your comment on my blog about the lens. It gives me more trust in my lens! I guess I just have to learn more, so that I know how to work with it..

Alice in Wonderland said...

I loved this! It reminded me of a guy that I once knew and he loved the feel of satin women's underwear and stockings.
One day he had to go to the Police Station to give a statement of something that had happened, and he actually went dressed in women's underwear and high heeled shoes!
.....Well, I don't THINK there is a law against it, but he did it for a laugh!
This brought back some memories and a laugh too!
Thanks!!!

Chuck said...

Pat your stories are the best...when ever there are holes in my life experiences I just read one of your stories and plug them right up!

Marlene said...

OH MY!!!!!!!! I can't even type, I'm laughing so hard!!!!

I can't even imagine!!

Only you, Pat!!!!

faye said...

You sure there are no photos
available ??
Another one of your superb posts.

Bossy Betty said...

If only you hadn't told me to picture you bending over the rear end of your bug in a mini-skirt....

I'll bet that tow truck driver thought you were pretty cute!

Pat Tillett said...

myvisualillusions - no problem!

Alice - My pleasure! I guess my evening could have been worse afterall, The cops could have been involved...

Chuck - Why thank you! I got plenty more where this one came from.

Marlene - I know! Mi vida loca!

faye - If I ever did have any, I must have destroyed them in a moment of clarity...

Bossy Betty - I was working that mini-skirt...

Ashley King said...

cross dresser.

KaLynn said...

HAHAHAHA!! Probably not that funny back then but right now you have got me a kacklin!

Entre Nous said...

Aww, come on, there is nothing sxier, or funnier than a guy in drag!

Entre Nous said...

I have to add, when the cops I worked with would get digged out in drag (shaved legs and all!) for prostitution stings, they would preen around for us just to get us rolling. I still have pics, on floppys, which I cannot get into my computer because my nice big new one has everything know to man, but a floppy drive... *sigh*

Pat Tillett said...

Ashley - Hey, I looked good!

KaLynn - Truth be told, it was even pretty funny when it was happening. I won't do it again, but it was quite an experience.

Entre Nous - Not this guy. I looked like a big, hairy woman, with a huge head.

Entre Nous - That's too funny! did some of them volunteer for the duty? LOL

LovkynÄ› said...

just noticed your "ask me" tab, which brought me back to this old favorite. i want to suggest this kind of party to my friends. ^_^