A Fish Named Boots

No, this entry is not about shoes. It’s about a fish that defies nature. It’s about a carnival prize that won’t die.

Almost seven years ago our granddaughter Taylor “won” a goldfish at a Japanese festival. It was just a little thing, not even an inch in length. We bought one of those little glass fish bowls to keep it in. So now we had a new pet in the house to take care of. Of course we didn’t think it was going to live very long, because they never do. We didn’t want it to die of starvation though, so off to the pet store we went for fish food.

We walked in and went directly to the fish section. They have a lot of aquariums set up, with various types and shapes of fish. None of them have more than 10 to 20 fish in them. Where is our fish? We walk a little deeper into the store and find a tank with some of our fish in it. I should say we found a tank with hundreds or maybe thousands of our fish in it. It seems that our new pet is a feeder fish! I had no idea that feeder fish were actually small goldfish.  Of course there isn’t anybody in the area to help us. So we start looking at fish food. None of the pictures look like our fish. We’re looking for food for a fish that is food for other fish! We need help!

Eventually someone who looked like an employee showed up. She showed us what to buy. Our granddaughter Taylor, named the fish “Boots.” It made no sense to me either at the time. It’s Boots as in “Dora the Explorer.” Isn't that "Boots" a monkey? 

After a couple of months it became pretty clear that boots was starting to outgrow his fishbowl. So we got Boots some new digs. It was a one gallon Sponge-Bob Square Pants themed mini-aquarium. This one even had a little filter on it. It was cheap and the fish was free, so what the heck!

Cut to almost 7 years later…

Boots in now living in, and has almost outgrown a 26 gallon, big boy, “Jethro Bodine” aquarium. It’s his sixth one, each bigger and more expensive than the last. He’s about 8 inches long and about an inch wide.

He’s never been with another fish (in a biblical sense, or any other), but somehow he’s contracted the full range of fish afflictions including about every kind of parasite and bacteria known to man or fish. Did you know that fish Vets use a lot of the same antibiotics on fish that they use on humans? And did you also know that you can buy them in any pet store without benefit of a prescription? Yup! Got an ear ache, soar throat, Chlamydia, or some other STD? Why not cut out the middle man, go to directly to the pet store, and buy what you need right off the darn shelf?

Boots has received treatment after treatment and now we notice that he’s blind as a bat! Kind of hard for him to eat the medication if he can’t see it! Luckily, most of it dissolves in the water. The counter next to his aquarium has so many different medicine containers on it, that it looks like the bedside table of a hypochondriac! Does he even know that he’s sick, or alive for that matter?

All of this constant treatment has caused my wife a tremendous amount of work. She has to change out some of his water every day. I watch and I try to be supportive; I even help if she needs it… But it’s a fish! Not a butterfly fish, not a Moorish Idol, not a yellow tang, it’s not even a regular goldfish!

There’s a part of me that wants to flush the darn thing down the toilet. But I’ve been married for quite some time and I’ve learned a thing or two about having a harmonious relationship with my wife.

I don’t even want to hazard a guess as to how much money this fish has cost us. Between the medication and constant aquarium upgrades, it’s an aquarium full.

How much money do you have to spend on a 10 cent feeder fish, before it becomes an issue worthy of prolonged discussion in Psychotherapy?