Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Coed Baby Showers?

Seriously people, I’ve got some questions (and answers)…

When did baby showers become coed?
My research seems to indicate that it’s been about five years since it became a rule.

My wife knows how I feel about these things. So why did she make me go to two of them in the last 11 months?
Okay, so what if they were for our own pregnant daughters?  I didn't want to go, but I did. One of them was full of policemen. Even they couldn't convince their wives not to make them go, and they were armed! I didn't stand a chance.

Why did this happen?
You don’t like us to have free time.
You want us to know who is in charge.
No other reason than pure torture.

Does your husband/boyfriend tell you he doesn’t mind going with you?
He’s lying.

Who in the world changed the rules?
Some alpha females with massive control issues.

Why do wives and girlfriends “expect” their husbands and boyfriends to go with them
Because the penalty for not going is severe.
They usually cook better than us.

Was some type of international women’s meeting held on the subject?
No, this is the type of politically correct nonsense that starts in the United States.

Will these "events" ever go back to women only?
No, the new rule is already established and recorded. It’s one of those things kept in the book of “unwritten rules.”

Why don't men know about this book?
Women don’t want us to know all the rules. 
They like to keep us confused.

Do men in other countries have to go?
Not yet, but eventually it will spread like a virus and infect the entire planet. At least one country (I won't name it here) is already ahead of the evil curve, and have showers for expectant fathers. Okay, if you insist.  It's France of course!

Do women really “want” their husbands trying to guess the “circumference” of another ladies body?
Not a problem, if that lady's body is swollen and bloated.

Do women really want their husbands playing “pin the sperm on the egg?”
This game is never played at co-ed showers. Sounds too much like sex talk.

How about “guess the chocolate” smeared in the diaper?
I can’t even believe women play this one. If the husbands do play, at least one of them is going to taste it.

Finally, please god, why do they make us sit through the gift opening?
We don’t even know what the gift "we" brought is, so why do we care about all the others?

Why is there NEVER alcohol at these functions?
If there was drinking allowed, the men would gather amongst themselves and ignore all of the “activities.” That of course, is not going to be allowed...

Now you know how I feel about greeting card stores and coed baby showers. I promise you, there is more...


  1. I can promise it is not a rule. I am throwing one and assisting in another this summer. Neither are co-ed.

    I don't want my husband to go with to these things. Plus, if I leave my husband home with the kids, I can have an excuse to leave early if I feel the need.

  2. Cara - It may not be where you live, but here it sure is. It sounds like you are a woman of great common sense, to leave yourself an out...

  3. i am so NOT a fan of these co-ed bridal and baby showers, pat. call me a traditional girl, but why?! i love my girl-time. i love how we all get to joke about our guys and their dirty socks under the coffee table and toilet seats left up and whatnot - leave your guys home and have a fun girl's day.

  4. Listen--it is about time men had to share in the pain of these showers too....

  5. I've noticed this too. Coed baby showers, wedding showers, the whole she-bang. I don't want my partner to go with me. Hell, I don't want to go to most of them.

  6. I went to one once- never again!

  7. Oh my.... to subject men to these functions is a sure fire way to have a less than promising evening.. I say give the men that time as their time, we up later and voila, a good time was had by all..

  8. "Women don’t want us to know all the rules."

    ... and if men ever learn the rules, the rules must be immediately changed!

  9. I've decided I will live on fast food before I go to a coed baby shower....Thankfully my children are all boys and I've already told them that they will always make excuses for why they don't want "Dad" at the baby shower....

    I feel for you though...I truly do... Great answers! I think they are completely accurate....

  10. Oh Pat you have struck a cord with me on this one Mister!
    I am one of the women that changed this rule. I have a coed shower of my own and have host coed baby showers about twice a year. I know I'm not going to change your mind, you're old school.
    It's a couple thing. You may not understand that but I like to do EVERYTHING with my husband. I even find myself hanging out in the garage while he works in his car. Maybe it's the codependency thing about me but I wanted him to experience every little "step" in my pregnancy. He went to every doctors appointment and even a shower. Just like I have gone to every car show for the last SEVEN years and for the rest of my life! What is one stinking shower! I even promise to provide him with alcohol to make the party more entertaining for him, I make sure he gets good food and whala! I have a happy husband!
    Get out of your old school mentality, kick back papa and enjoy a reason to see the women in your life happy to see you! =)

    1. Your husband may be "batting for the other team" to put it nicely. And why do women have theses stupid showers if all these women don't like them?

  11. I don't associate with pregnant women, but if I did, I don't think I could subject my man to a baby shower. They are usually terrible and dry out of pity for the expectant woman. :(

  12. Must be a California thing. I don't want men at baby showers. They would just sit around looking all grumpy, wanting to be anywhere but there. I also don't want men in bridal shops which also seems to be a trend.

  13. WOW, there are definitely some opinions at the opposite ends of the spectrum!!! I have to agree with both though.....It's nice to have my husband, father of the daughters expecting, to join in with the celebration. BUUUT, on the other hand, I would never ask him to come with me to someone else's, I really don't enjoy them either!!! LOL

  14. "GUESS THE CHOCOLATE?" Really? :) I don't think I've actually ever been to a baby shower, therefore this is an education to me. I did laugh at the armed policemen thing. Although I assume there was maybe cake? Policemen like cakes. And doughnuts. Not that I'm stereotyping here or anything.

    Also, well done on having all your daughters pregnant at the same time.

  15. Ally - Happy to hear that! We would rather be the butt of the jokes than attend...

    Betty - Don't we already suffer enough? LOL

    Aut - I feel your pain!

    BD - I hear you. I've now been to three of them! Hope to never go again..

    Lynne - I agree. We have stuff to do in the garage!

    Neil - Neil, I wish I'd thought of that line...

    Anonymous - Oh yeah! I don't usually get anonymous comments. Are you "hiding" your indentity so your wife or GF won't know who you are? LOL

    Bendigo - Great minds think alike!

    Jenni - Jenni, Jenni, oh Jenni! I love you dearly, but you need to reread the item about men "lying."
    You can go to all the car shows in the world, but he STILL doesn't REALLY want to go to a baby shower.
    DON'T MAKE HIM GO... I do agree that booze helps ease the pain!

    Random Thinker - Nah, my cracker jack research staff tells me it's everywhere. I do admire your outlook. What's up with men going to bridal shops also?

    Mei - They are indeed full of pity, but it's self-pity by the men, who were forced to attend.

    My Beautiful and charming wife - I thank you for taking mercy on me (sometimes).

  16. TVA - Yup, guess the chocolate! Kinda gross. Only 2 of the 4 were pregnant at that time...And yes, cake is always good!

  17. Pat I am in total agreement with you on this subject. I do not want nor would I ever require my husband to attend a baby shower with me. I am clear on the things to which I do and do not want to include him in. Just as I would not want to attend a bachelor party (and all its attendant goings on) I would not expect my husband to ooh and ah over the cute crib ensemble or multi-tasking stroller. There really are some things which should remain gender divided and I for one baby showers should be at the top of the list!!!

  18. Why on earth shouldn't infants shower together?

  19. Hmmm. Well, you've given me something to think about.
    I'm hosting a coed shower in September for my sister and I need the my husband and brother in law to BBQ and move tables and frankly everything is more fun with you have fun guys to make like of a boring day of watch present after present over and over again. Having the guys there makes the women complain less and that's WHAT I'M ALL ABOUT!
    But because I do SORT OF understand you position for the guys I will promise you that I will relieve him of the next coed shower with you in mind. =)

  20. Jenni - Different story if you need help for some things. If you give him a pass on the next one, he might surprise you and go anyway. BBQ and booze can be an attracttive inducement!

  21. Karin - Further, why do infants shower at all?

  22. I know, eh?!!! DUMB!!!!!

    If I was the guy, I'd go....make a run for the FOOD, and then make a run for the EXIT.

  23. Happens a lot in my SIL's social circle - but luckily I have so far been able to avoid a baby shower that includes any men - except for the one that was for two dads. :)

    I do get that women want their partners to be more involved in the life of the children and have a more balanced role than in the (not so distant) past.

    But I don't get this. Why can't we just have girl things and boy things any more, ever? Who made that rule?

  24. ummmm. i have an opinion here.... first of all, i was 18 for the first baby shower.... i was entitled to you being there.... i was barely legal enough to be there on my own, without a curfew.

    now as far as coed baby showers go.... why should IIIII be subject to hours of being tortured with a family that my husband can barely stand? pssssh! if i'm going to have to sit with his family for hours, then HE IS TOO!!!!

    hee hee hee....

    i promise you that if i ever get pregnant again, you won't have to come to my baby shower....

    .... because i won't ever be pregnant again....

  25. oh.... i almost forgot the part about having the husband there for the shower (while being the pregnant one).... who else do you turn to and smile crookedly at while opening presents?? ;)

    husbands are needed.... and if the husbands are needed, we don't want them to feel unmanly and be the ONLY man there, so we invite all the men.... and if booze helps the situation, then LET THERE BE BOOZE.... it's just not fair to pregnant mom who is probably dying over for a stinkin mimosa or glass of red wine at this point in pregnancy.....

  26. Marlene - If it was only always that easy!

    Megan - I understand that they want their men more involved, but making them go to a shower is starting off on the wrong foot...

    Ash - First part, hilarious!
    Second part, I hope you ain't talkin' bout me!
    Third part, yeehawww

  27. Well put Ashley, exactly my point! Glad you're on my side. (I expected that!) =D

  28. What about that Lamaze stuff?

  29. Ashley - Even the husband wasn't invited in the not too distant past. He doesn't want to be there either.

    Jenni - you and Ashley listen up! "two wrongs don't make a right!"

    Anonymous - No way I'm getting dragged into that arguement! All I can say is this: If your wife is tough enough to go the route of natural childbirth, then she's more than tough enough to kick your anonymous butt!

  30. I have never heard of men going to any kind of shower...lucky me!
    But if I had to go, believe me, one way or another, I would be smuggling in a flask of Chivas!

  31. Mr. Anonymous that keeps asking about lamaze. You HAVE to go, if you don't you're going to be WORTHLESS in the labor and delivery room. You're going to piss off the new mommy and annoy the nurses. Just go and be happy you're not the one carry a baby for nine months and then having to heal for a month afterwards.
    Ashley - I think we totally tag teamed Pats post.
    Our point is made and we win! HA HA!
    Okay, next post papa!

  32. Eeeks! Guess the nappy chocolate?!!?

    I haven't heard of men going to baby showers....but then anything is possible these days, I suppose!

    Wouldn't subject my hubby to something like that....same way I never take him shopping with me....the tutting, eyerolling andd general grumpiness gets to me :-)

    Congrats on your imminent multiple grandaddyhood, Pat!

  33. hahahah! i wasn't talking about you while opening the presents.... i was talking about looking up at jason and giving him a smile, like, "you better smile and act like you like it too, dammit!"

    and, quit ripping on anonymous. maybe "anonymous" doesn't have a google account, but still wants to come and read your blog? ever think about that one?? so back off.

    let me tell you this.... last year our lamaze classes took place during the lakers playoffs.... at LEAST half of the dads had their cell phones out and pointed up toward the ceilings, trying to gain receptions on their crackberries for the most updated score of the game.... although the light from his phone was not the most relaxing thing in the middle of our patterned breathing, the massages were totally worth it....

    and lamaze breathing.... totally goes out the window when you're in labor.... you breathe when you can, and push when you can't breathe.... push like you're constipated, and next thing you know, you crap a baby....

    note to all future dads.... just submit while she's in labor and a few weeks after.... she's a super raging hormonal maniac just waiting to come out, even if you think she's all sweet and nice.... there's part devil somewhere in there.... just take my advice.... or ask my husband. ;)

  34. 32 comments already....now that is funny. I think some brothers need an outlet that they don't have in their regular lives.

    I got to sleep in today until noon. Then I had lunch. I think I will have a nap. Not having a woman in my life doesn't seem like such a bad thing right now. Thanks for giving me another reason, Pat.

    No BOOZE??? No freakin' way.

    I remember getting that LOOK from everyone because of comments me and my fellow hungover groomsmen made at the next day gift openings. I refuse to waste my prime comedy on those numnuts anymore.

  35. Thanks for stopping by my page for a look. I haven't been doing this all that long and its nice to have my first follower.

    I very much liked the post that I commented on earlier, but hadn't yet read more than that. However after your visit to my site, I came back to read your older posts and WOW! You have had an amazing life and tremendous balls to write about it as openly and honestly as you do.

    I'm truly honored to have had you say that you enjoyed my blog - truly hope that you continue to do so!

  36. I'm cracking up at all the 'attitude' here! I didn't know babies showered --- and why would they want so many people there to share in it?

    On the other hand, Bossy Betty is right. Let's spread the pain!

  37. I'd be for a Coed Baby shower if my part was the beer and BBQ outside while the ladies enjoyed the actual shower inside.

    I'm with Susie some things should remain gender divided.

  38. One of my strategies in avoiding baby showers is to make sure that my behavior at parties makes the sixties-era Rolling Stones look like choirboys. And I bring my own alcohol. This has resulted in me being invited to only one baby shower in the course of three marriages.

  39. Can't say that I'm a fan of co-ed showers. In fact I can't say I'm a fan of showers! Any where I have to filter my thoughts before I open my mouth is not a good place for me to be (which is another reason not to have booze there, booze turns the filter off all togeather)

    As for the chocolates in a diaper.. I have never placed that game, I would however be willing to pay someone to taste it!

  40. Thank God my wife hates going to showers so this will NEVER be me...pfft, as if it would have been!

    Shit, did I just jinx myself, crap!


  41. Jenni - Don't make me call out the reserves!

    Joe - You'd need it, believe me!

    Nat - Believe me it's happening everywhere. I'm okay with shopping as long as I have a place to sit or lean. Thanks for the congrats, they both already hatched...

    Ash - Ah, no I didn't think of that! It's hard for us to pay attention for that long...

    Cal - I can appreciate the heck out of taking a nap. I had a short one today myself. I may go take another one right now.

    Neil - My pleasure! Thanks for reading some of the old stuff. I have a lot of stories here. Feel free to comment at any time! thanks.

    Brenda - I know, I kinda figured it would be all over the place.

    Jimmmy - I agree!!!

    Johnny - That's a good idea, that way word will spread about you!

    baygirl - Yeah, a baby shower is a good place to keep the filter intact.

    Chuck - Don't do it!!!

  42. I've been to two baby showers. Maybe...just maybe my wife was thinking, 'If I have do go to the damn thing, you do too!'

    Actually, your explanation makes more sense.

  43. Dude! I feel so bad! Especially since one of the women at the shower wasn't wearing a cop outfit that could easily be removed.

  44. Guess the chocolate smeared in the diaper? This is a game they actually play? That is just bizarre.

  45. Jerry - It's not about "spending time together."

    Copyboy - oops! wrong party...

    TS - Believe it or not, it's a VERY popular game among the shower goers...

  46. I'm going to take a totally different route... I say, last time I checked, it takes males and females to create the need for baby showers... why should men not have to suffer through them? Same with labor and delivery. (of course, this is only if the women choose to allow them to participate, with threats of bodily harm, etc.)

  47. Maybe they just like to come for the finger sandwiches, spiked punch and shrill giggling. I dunno. - G

  48. I've actually never been to a co-ed baby shower, and I've been to quite a few.

    Also I just wanted to let you know that because you've been so awesome to me right from the start of my blog, I am passing this award on to you. Thanks for being you!

  49. I'm in California in liberal Bay Area, Pat. Yet, I never heard of a co-ed baby shower. I think your wife was pulling your leg.

  50. Wow, were you reading my mind? I was just thinking about this the other day. It is horrible that men have to fake interest to appease the boss, er I mean, the women.

  51. Ms A - I guess it's for the reason most women don' want to go to the auto parts shop with us. We just aren't wired that way.

    Georgina - That's funny! NOT!

    Rachel - Well, I promise you, they are heading your way! Thanks for the "shout-out" on your blog!

    Robyn - I wish it was so Robyn, I wish it was so... As a matter of fact, the lady who ran the place where these last two showers were held was even commenting on it. She said they are ALL coed there now!

    Jeffry - I was reading your mind, and it's scary in there!
    Sometimes, we just do what we gotta do...

  52. Oh man! I missed this one. Maybe the reason I get on so well with my husband is because I HATE baby showers. The cooing, the ooo's and ahhh's while opening gifts, stupid games.

    Hate them. Also hate bridal showers. I didn't even have one for myself. Nope. I would never make my hubs go..I don't even want to go...gross!!

  53. Penny - I'm with you! A lot of people seem to like them though!

    Well folks, I had no idea...

  54. Men do not belong at baby showers or bridal showers. Period. It's bad enough the women have to attend these functions. I'm glad to send a gift, just don't want to attend the party.

  55. Like Ashly King said "don't rip on me." I was just asking you a question.

  56. Anonymous - I wasn't "ripping" you (who ever you are). I was just saying that baby showers should be optional, child birth classes should not be...
    Do I know you?

  57. it's obvious anonymous doesn't know you, otherwise they'd know your personality and that you were just joking silly!! ;)

    aaaaand, as SELFISH as this sounds, i only like my own baby shower.... just kinda sets the "real" feeling of the baby coming soon.... i don't like showers.... i didn't have a bridal shower, remember?? oh yeah, that's cuz we got married on like day 65 or something.... no time for bridal showers.... we had a WEDDING to plan!!!! ;)

  58. I have never nor will I ever expect my man to go to a wedding or baby shower...just like I wouldn't expect him to bring me along on a bachelor party...And I have heard girlfriends/wives insisting on going....

  59. LMAO---

    That is why we have NO... not one single Real Friend, and deal with Facebook and Blogger.

    Sheesh Pat---come on dude!!!

    Great stuff Buddy! Great stuff!


  60. Holy cow! 60 comments already! Good stuff sir! Have you ever heard of a diaper shower.... You throw it for the dude at a bar, and each guy gets the father to be a package of diapers....

  61. ABAO - Thanks! I know, amazing isn't it?
    I've never heard of a "diaper shower." As long as the father-to-be ends up actually chanaging some of them later...

  62. Oh man, poor you, Pat! I can't believe that you were obligated to go through these..! I thought guys weren't allowed to showers!

  63. I don't go to baby showers and I certainly wouldn't want to subject my poor hubby to that kind of torture.

  64. Yikes, really? I've never heard of a coed baby shower!

    In Newfoundland, there is a chick-only baby shower, then the guys all have a "diaper party" (not what it sounds like, ha ha!). The guests all bring a pack of diapers for the new dad (those suckers are pricey!) and then they all sit around and eat and drink beer and watch hockey. Or whatever other sport is on. Much better, I think. :)

  65. Ashley - I should hope you liked your own baby shower. You made enough money selling all that stuff on ebay...
    As to your wedding...rushed or not, that was a total blast!

    Christie - You are a stellar person for feeling that way. Seriously, I think if a bride to be INSISTS on going to the bachelor party, then the bachelor should really be rethinking the whole thing..Cause his life is gonna be hell...

    John - Why thank you sir! Isolation, is one strategy I hadn't thought of...

    Sarah - That's what I thought! nobody told me the rules had been changed!

    SQ - You are now forever enshrined on a pedestal...

    Brandi - I know! I've never heard of the "diaper party" until recently. I'm not thinking that would go over very well here...
    thanks for the comment, nice to see you out and about!

  66. They're co-ed? Please don't tell my wife. There's one this weekend and I'm off the hook. I'm nit kidding either.

  67. Geof - Oh oh! You better make alternate plans in a hurry!

  68. Haha, I just came across this and feel the need to comment. I don't think coed baby showers are becoming a "rule," and even if they are, not following society's "rules" is often the more fun route anyway. That being said, I think baby showers that are exclusively for women might send a message that women are naturally more interested in babies and better at taking care of them. It takes a coed team to make a baby - so why shouldn't baby showers be coed?

    Now THAT being said, traditional baby showers aren't that much fun anyway. A few of my close girlfriends threw me a baby shower, and that was fun, but Jason and I also threw our own coed baby shower, and it was anything but traditional. The only games we played were horse shoes and bean bag toss, we had beer (well, I didn't), a bonfire, and he and I opened the presents together. Basically, we took the opportunity to throw a big party for ourselves and friends and family.

    My point is that baby showers can be whatever the couple wants them to be, and coed baby showers don't have to be as lame as you might think ;)

  69. Sarah - First off, thanks so much for digging and commenting. I really do appreciate it!

    I hear what your saying about the coed showers. And I did manage to have "some" fun at them, but....
    the fun was had by some of us guys talking and joking about things we like. When it comes to the games and opening gifts. Not a guy there was interested. I think you hit it right on the head. Make it into a "regular" party for friends and family! You are right, that wouldn't be lame at all...

  70. Anonymous - You are an asshat of the first order...


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