Coed Baby Showers?

Seriously people, I’ve got some questions (and answers)…

When did baby showers become coed?
My research seems to indicate that it’s been about five years since it became a rule.

My wife knows how I feel about these things. So why did she make me go to two of them in the last 11 months?
Okay, so what if they were for our own pregnant daughters?  I didn't want to go, but I did. One of them was full of policemen. Even they couldn't convince their wives not to make them go, and they were armed! I didn't stand a chance.

Why did this happen?
You don’t like us to have free time.
You want us to know who is in charge.
No other reason than pure torture.

Does your husband/boyfriend tell you he doesn’t mind going with you?
He’s lying.

Who in the world changed the rules?
Some alpha females with massive control issues.

Why do wives and girlfriends “expect” their husbands and boyfriends to go with them
Because the penalty for not going is severe.
They usually cook better than us.

Was some type of international women’s meeting held on the subject?
No, this is the type of politically correct nonsense that starts in the United States.

Will these "events" ever go back to women only?
No, the new rule is already established and recorded. It’s one of those things kept in the book of “unwritten rules.”

Why don't men know about this book?
Women don’t want us to know all the rules. 
They like to keep us confused.

Do men in other countries have to go?
Not yet, but eventually it will spread like a virus and infect the entire planet. At least one country (I won't name it here) is already ahead of the evil curve, and have showers for expectant fathers. Okay, if you insist.  It's France of course!

Do women really “want” their husbands trying to guess the “circumference” of another ladies body?
Not a problem, if that lady's body is swollen and bloated.

Do women really want their husbands playing “pin the sperm on the egg?”
This game is never played at co-ed showers. Sounds too much like sex talk.

How about “guess the chocolate” smeared in the diaper?
I can’t even believe women play this one. If the husbands do play, at least one of them is going to taste it.

Finally, please god, why do they make us sit through the gift opening?
We don’t even know what the gift "we" brought is, so why do we care about all the others?

Why is there NEVER alcohol at these functions?
If there was drinking allowed, the men would gather amongst themselves and ignore all of the “activities.” That of course, is not going to be allowed...

Now you know how I feel about greeting card stores and coed baby showers. I promise you, there is more...