When I got up the next morning my mom told me I wasn't going to school. I was very happy to hear that, because my bottom lip was busted and I knew the guy would come after me again. My good feelings flew out the window, when at about five minutes before two, my mom told me to go outside and wait for the kid. My heart sunk. I couldn’t believe she was really going to make me fight him again.
This time she went outside with me. We waited for the kid to walk by. After a short time we saw him walking up the street towards us. When he saw my mom he crossed the street. She yelled to him to come over to us. I was hoping that he would be afraid to, but the cocky bastard wasn’t. I was hoping that my mom was going to tell him to stay away from me. She didn’t. She told him that I wanted to fight again…
I felt totally helpless! My mom pushed us over to the parking lot in front of the apartment building and told us start fighting. By this time a small crowd had gathered. My mom told me to hit him, but I was afraid to. She again told me to hit him, only this time she screamed it. When I didn’t do it, she told the other kid to hit me. He punched me in the stomach. As I was doubled over trying to catch my breath, my mom told him to hit me again. This time he punched me in the face. I tried to fight back, but this kid was just too big and experienced. He had no problem beating me up again.
While all this was going on a couple of people told my mom to stop what was happening. She yelled at them to shut the hell up, because she “knew where they lived.” When my mom thought that I’d taken enough punishment, she told the kid to stop and to come back tomorrow after school. I felt lost. I wanted to die.
To add insult to injury, my mom was once again raging at me for not hitting the kid or putting up a better fight. I didn’t know how to fight! I was shutting down. I no longer cared what happened. She told me I was going to fight this kid every day until I decided not to let him beat me up…
I am sorry, Pat, that you had to go through that. Every child needs an adult to be there for him/her, but you had just the contrary. No saftey net what so ever.... just a huge fall into the vast emptyness! :(
ReplyDeleteWell---that's one way to learn I guess. I don't know whether your mother was right or wrong, but she obviously had her reasons. I can't wait to read the next part---just to find out what happened...
ReplyDeleteI have never been a fighter --and I was just the opposite when it came to my kids. I didn't even like to see them fighting with each other...
Have a good Sunday.
Betsy
Every time I hear a story about your mom, it baffles me as to how she could have turned out the way she did. It's not even ever a pattern of craziness, just new angles and forms of psycho.
ReplyDeleteAt least it turned you into an entertaining blogger!
It sounds like she was trying to confront her own weaknesses through you. I wonder if she took care of your bruises and aches after the slaughter...or did she further leave you out in the cold for the wolves to do their bidding. I have to say I think I hate your mother. Is she still alive today?
ReplyDeleteGah. So sad. She obviously, in her warped, wrong way, thought she was helping you. Sadly, she was doing the opposite.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry.
I know how your mom was from reading your posts, but I will withold judgement until I see part 3.
ReplyDeleteI was never a fighter myself.
RA - We were certainly operating without a net. The only good thing about it was that she left us unattended much of the time.
ReplyDeleteBetsy - She was wrong...There was always fighting in, or around my family.
Soft Nonsense - She would totally change at the blink of an eye also.
Pretty scary...
DrSoosie - She usually didn't take care of anything. She was the one who usually caused the bruises and aches. She is happily dead. For about 20 years now. Here's a couple of links...
http://patricktillett.blogspot.com/2009/06/my-mom-generally-speaking.html
http://patricktillett.blogspot.com/2009/07/hello-again-dad.html
there are many other related stories under the labels: family, family stories, childhood stories, etc...
Wings - Thanks! I can honestly say she never did a single thing to help us in our lives. Most of my stories are from my point of view, because for some reason she clearly hated me...
Joe - Well, let's just post 3 has a better ending, but it's just as weird...
The Mother in wants to shake her and ask, "What were you thinking". The woman in me feels such sorrow for her..The fellow writer in me says you are a tough one and one helluva writer..
ReplyDeleteI hope you went and got that pipe I mentioned yesterday before Day 3.
ReplyDeletegood to see you survived your childhood..
ReplyDeleteDid you ever attend any fightsports when you got older (and could decide for yourself)?
Lynne - Thanks Lynne! I honestly have no idea what went on in her head. When she got older she honestly seemed to think she was a good mother...just goes to show you how crazy she really was!
ReplyDeleteChuck - I eventually got a pipe, but not the one you were talking about....wink wink!
Arjan - Yes, somehow I survived!
I wish you had already posted part #3 Patrick.
ReplyDeleteBut i will be looking forward to it.
Have a great week.
Costas
I am not reading until the final part goes up. You write so well that the cliffhangers are just that much harder to endure.
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry that you had to face this when you were a little one :(
ReplyDeleteBut, I'm sure you're a tough spirit, and I admire you for that.
As Joe 've said, I look forward to reading your next post.
Hope you're having a nice Sunday!
~B
Pat, that's painful... to read. I'm sure it was more painful to experience. Sometimes, parents think they know what is best for us. But sometimes, they don't. How does one work around that?
ReplyDeleteNevine
Costas - Monday morning Thanks my friend!
ReplyDeleteCal - I don't blame you!
Betty - Thanks! A childhood crock-full of crazy...I am having a nice Sunday! thanks again...
Nevine - I was forced to learn a little trick as a kid to survive. My mom didn't know best, or worst, she only knew crazy and brutal. I coped by disassociating. Here's a link to a post on the subject...
http://patricktillett.blogspot.com/2009/08/disassociation.html
That was just terrible, Pat. When we are children, we expect "adults" and especially our parents to always look out for us and to take care of us.
ReplyDeleteWhat on earth was your Mother thinking about!
Was she re-living her own childhood through you?
This just makes me sick! Can't imagine what happened to make her the way she was, mental illness, or not.
ReplyDeleteMs A - I don't think anything happened! She was just nuts...
ReplyDeleteAlice - Unfortunately, we don't always get what we expect. After a while, I didn't even expect it from her any longer. I promise, she wasn't thinking anything! Well, nothing sane that is...
I honestly don't know what to comment, other than I am completely stunned and shocked that a mother would want her own son to get beat up to prove a point. And I am not even sure what the point is yet.
ReplyDeleteI remember this type of mentality from my past Pat, I have a feeling that the tables were finally turned due to a survival instinct so to say, sucks to have been in that situation.
ReplyDeletePat,
ReplyDeleteSometimes when I read what you have gone through I truly want to sit here and cry. Really cry.
No child should have endured an eighth of what you had to go through.
I thank the heavens that you turned all that pain into being a wonderful man who can share his horrible experiences with others through very talented writing. If not for any other reason so as to alert us to watch for children who might be going through similar things with their psychologically damaged parent and have the courage to interfere and STOP the madness.
Cheeseboy - I'm not sure what the point was either. It was one of three things. 1. She was pissed because I didn't take care of it myself and she had to get involved. or, 2. She was trying to teach me an object lesson, or 3. She just flat out hated me. I opt for number three...
ReplyDeleteJimmy - They did turn a bit, but then my mom did something else that was disturbing...
Joan - It was insanity, but everything is good now. I agree with what you're saying. I wish somebody would have noticed something wrong in our house and turned her in. I'm pretty sure that everyone who knew us, was afraid of her. For quite a while, I thought everybody lived like we did. Thanks so much Joan... I appreciate your thoughts and words.
ReplyDeletePat-- when we meet-- Bring your "PIPE",
ReplyDeleteI'll bring the refreshments, and we'll LAMENT for several days!!!!
I would Love to sit and just talk with you!
Amazing.
John
She's a definite sociopath of a form. It would be interesting to know what made her that way. Pat what is that thing on your head? It looks like a giant cashew.
ReplyDeleteSuch a sad story.
ReplyDeleteYou should put them all
together in a book...
John
ReplyDeleteThanks john... LAMENTING it is...
Warren
She was that and many other things, all negative...
I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It just makes me feel ill. Thank you for writing about somnething that was so painful. Perhaps others saw their own story in yours too.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure this experience wasn't good for the other kid eithe. Although he was the bully, he was being encouraged by an adult - instead of someone caring enough to teach him about respect, friendship and self-esteem. I can't imagine that he grew up into a healthy well-adjusted adult. - G
This is just insane. On to read the last part.
ReplyDeleteGeorgina - Thanks! Although I didn't go to that school for very long, I don't think the other kid ever said another word to me.
ReplyDeleteTS - yes it is...
Okay, you're right. She's crazy. I am so angry reading this. Why do children always have to be on the receiving end of their parents' irresponsibilities or meanness?
ReplyDeleteNo response necessary. I'm moving on to Part 3.
Jesus wept. That's messed up.
ReplyDelete