Monday, June 28, 2010

The Bully Part 3 of 3

Next day, same exact story. Except this time when the kid came to our house he had his older brother with him. A lot of people from our apartments were already waitingto see what would happen.  Todays beating was no different than the previous two. I was about mid-way through my punishment when I finally figured out that if I timed it right, I could hit him hard. I’d still get my ass kicked, but at least I’d get a lick in. So that is what I did. I aimed for his mouth, swung as hard as I could, and hit him directly in the throat.

The kid wasn't breathing very well. My mom was screaming at me to kill him. The people from the apartment building were yelling at me to hit him again. I did hit him again, so many times that I was tired from it. His older brother tried to butt in, but my mom grabbed him by his shirt and flung him away. I don’t think my punches were really hurting him very badly, but he was through. My mom told me to stop hitting him.

When the kid could breath again in a fairly normal manner, my mom told us to start fighting again. The kid said he didn’t want to fight anymore. I couldn’t believe how good it had felt to hit him, but I think what I felt most, was hatred towards my mother.

What happened next, was probably more shocking than my mom making me fight this kid three times. While the “former” bully and his brother were walking away, my mom whispered something in my older brother’s ear. When she was done, he ran after them. He bashed into the back of the kid's older brother at full speed, knocking him down. Then he kicked the hell out of him while he was still on the ground.  I assume that was my mom's warning for him to not let his little brother bother me anymore.

I don’t think anybody called the police and I don’t think they came to our house. The parents of the other kids never came to our house either. Another of many examples, where my mom should have been in trouble with the authorities, but wasn’t. I know my mom was scary crazy to her family, but this was the first time I’d seen her effect on others.

I would never say that what my mom did was right. It was horrible. It did teach me one thing though; I never let anybody hit me first again, ever...


  1. It's sad and upsetting to read that there were other people standing around and no one intervened or called the police. Whenever I hear that a video has been uploaded on youTube showing a fight, I'm sickened by the knowing there were kids standing around and encouraging it. I hope that the bully didn't come around after that and that your Mom didn't unleash any more crazy on you. - G

  2. I was really hoping that this would end with your mother exposed but I've read enough to know better. getting your ass kicked is an effective way to learn how to fight but not at the hands your mother.

  3. Well, you have to try and take something positive from all that, for your own sake. So good on you, for that.

    As for your mom, what can anyone say that you don't already know?

    Sorry man.

  4. This whole episode from your life is like a really screwed up, psychotic version of a Disney movie. I can't believe no one called the police.

  5. my husband had a story about bullies that was not quite the same as yours but his sentiment about defense was the same. his dad instructed him to hit first too and even started taking him to the gym to bulk him up so he could defend himself better. I guess that is what makes him a great litigator a kind of "pit bull" attorney he always likes to get his licks in first...though now they are verbal. I think this is one of things his clients love best about him. I hate your mom's approach but I think learning to defend oneself is not such a bad thing as long as you are not the one starting the altercation. I bet that bully never forgot you or you mom.

  6. The emotion that comes through in between the lines is very confusing for me. Because I think your mom did care. She just didn't have any ordinary means to show it...

  7. This is the hard way of learning how to defend oneself. The story reminds me the stories of women of Sparta in ancient Greece. They were tough on their men.. forced them to go to war and win or die. They should never come back home defeated.
    If someone got a wound at his back during the battle, he was disgraced and humiliated as the wound was showing that he had turned his back to the enemy.

    It was a great story Pat .
    Thank you for sharing with us.
    Have a great week.

  8. Wow. Sometimes I find it really hard to wrap my head around how people deal with situations, and this is one of them. I'm having a tough time understanding your mum's motivation, I must admit.

  9. That is entirely too surreal. Seems more like a scene from a movie - glad you learned something from it.

  10. Georgina - I'm very sure that the "bystanders" were all afraid of my mom. I'm sure my mom telling my brother to beat up the kids older brother was a warning to leave me along. My mom did in fact have much more crazy to unleash!

    Jhon - What it did, was teach me to be mean. Since that time whenever I've felt even the most remote possiblity that somebody might hit me, I never gave them the chance. I always hit first. I'm sure that sometimes the other person didn't have that intent at all...that sucks!

    Wings - You are right, there wasn't much positive to it, but what little there was, I grabbed...

    TS - A very psychotic version! To me, the weirdest thing was when my mom told my brother to go beat up the kids older brother. He happily did so. He did it because he enjoyed it, not because of any loyalty to me. Remember, this is the same brother who fractured my skull with a croquet mallet...

    DrSoosie - That's a good story! You should make a post out of it.

    My mom could have told my brother to teach me. I don't think he would have done it though. I was already waiting for the day when I was big enough to pay him back for all the crap he did to me. By teaching me he would be participating in his own demise...
    Thanks for reading and for making great comments. I really appreciate it...

    RA - If my mom did care, she never EVER showed it. Truly, I don't have a single positive childhood memory relating to her. She hated me because she despised my father.

    Costas - The Spartans were an amazing people. A total warrior culture... Thanks for reading!

  11. Gosh, I still can't believe that your Mother put you through all of this!
    Just what was she trying to prove?
    At least you remember to "refuse nothing but blows", as my Dad would have said.

    My heart goes out to you, Pat, but these are lessons that make you the guy that you are today....and not in a bad way!
    Rather a lover than a fighter be!

  12. Rachel - Thanks! I did learn from it. I learned to start hating my mom and bullies.

    Talli - I truly think my mom had two motives. However, they aren't the motives a "normal" person would have. One motive was to teach me to NEVER bother her with my personal problems again. The other motive was much stronger. She didn't at all mind seeing me get beat up. She HATED my father and I reminded her of him. Here's a link to another example (there are many)

    Alice - Thanks! It took me a long time and a lot of work to "be" who I am today...

  13. Patrick, Being the errant blog reader I am, I had to go back and catch up on Parts 1 and 2. Now I am sick to my stomach. I am the opposite of your mother (a good thing) and would do everything I could to protect my children.

    Yikes. Wish you were making this stuff up, but I know you aren't.

    Will you please look into getting a book deal on your memoirs? Don't make me come down there and boss you around in person.....

  14. *Le Sigh*

    I can't help but still want to rescue the Little Boy Pat.. But seems like you saved yourself..

    As for your Mom, well I who was never a fighter(But had 3 brothers teach me well, plus the US Army)would have loved to have spent a bit of time in the shed with her. I guarantee you this, she would not have walked out that shed the same woman. (sorry, no disrespect intended to you)

  15. In time were you ever able to forgive your mother?

  16. sad life must be prepared for anything..sorry

  17. BB - I wish I was making it up!
    As to a book deal, I wouldn't even know where to begin. I'd need someone to tie it all together for me.

    Lynne - It took a lot of work, but I've already rescued him...Thanks!
    The thing about my mom is, she would have willingly gone to that shed with you.

    Warren - No I wasn't able to forgive her. She did many worse things than this. The meanest thing didn't come to light until after she died.

    Costea - That is so true! thanks...

  18. Well----I guess the good news was that you probably were NOT bullied every again...

    Like you though, I probably would never have made your mother's decisions. But--she did what she thought was right at the time I'm sure...

    Do you have more "mother" stories????? Is she still alive? Did you talk to her about this when you became an adult????

    Thanks for sharing.... I do wish there was a good way to get rid of the bullying problem.

  19. If the neighbors had called the authorities, Social Services would have definitely come to visit. If she were to react with verbal abuse you most likely would have been taken from her. How did your brother turn out? He sounds as though he was at her mercy and direction as well, perhaps even more than you?

  20. Betsy - That is true, never again.
    I have a lot of mother stories. Most of them are labeled under "family stories." Here's a good one to start with.

    She is dead. She would never take an ounce of responsibility for anything. I brought it up to one time. She responded by saying, "why do kids always blame their parents for all their problems?" I never tried again. I tried not to talk to her at all...

    California Girl - I'm not so sure. First off, nobody she knew would turn her in, because there would be HELL to pay later. If not from my mom herself, from her friends.
    Second, back then, it wasn't like it is today.

    How my older brother turned out is a mixed bag. He didn't catch a tenth of what I did. She truly seemed to hate me. Thanks for commenting!

  21. Yeah, as usual she got away with her torments and left you (as usual) feeling the mental anguish. But hey, like you said at least you developed FFF (Fast fists of fury). Whatever age you are I bet you could easily kick my ass. Not that I wanna prove the theory. Just a hunch.

  22. At least something positive came out of that nightmare, or as positive as possible. Good lesson learned...and I know you only used it for good and not evil!

  23. Learning to defend yourself is an important lesson to learn but being forced to learn it in this manner appears to me no more than beating someone down and being surprised they got up, and I'm not talking about the physical beating it was the mental one that was the worst.

    Glad you pulled yourself out of it my Friend.

  24. Ren - Yep! Never knew what was gonna happen. Lot's of other stories under the label "family stories"

    Jesse - She always got away with everything! From that time forward, for the next 20 years, I was inovled in more fights than I can remember. Not a good thing!

    Jimmy - I agree...It was much more than physical. She punished me because my dad wasn't available.. Thanks! Me too...

  25. I am shaking my head in empathy and tsk-tsking at your mother's choices and actions....
    Pat, you are one of the bravest people I know about to not have let her destroy are stronger than you will ever know.

  26. Oh crap! I've been following you just long enough be aware of a tiny bit of the hell that your childhood was, but... I'm speechless.

  27. Not sure how I missed this, but I'm glad I came back to check! Sorry I'm late and glad this finally worked out to your advantage. Bullies deserve a comeuppance... your mother did, too.

  28. Amazing stories for a best selling
    memoir. You really should put together a manuscript and submit
    it to a publishing house.

  29. Joan - Thanks so much! she sure tried...

    Neil - Let's just say it was interesting. Interesting in a brutal, scary, and crazy way...

    Ms A - I'm glad you came back to check also! Too bad my mom never got her "comeuppance."

    Faye - Thanks! If I had somebody to put it all together for me, I would od it...

  30. I also think you should publish some of your stories. But start small like submitting them to magazines and newspapers that sort of thing and work up.If you wish to publish a book I hear that can get expensive especially when hiring an editor to correct any grammatical and flow issues. You may get lucky though and find a publisher who loves your work so much that they are willing to cover all expenses, But I wouldn't count on it. A harsh reality I discovered back when I was a professional musician. Just playing in lousy bars and food bills and not much to show for it afterwards.

  31. That was an interesting story. Were you the person that invented fight club =)

  32. this is just sad. all i can is sorry.. :(
    But i'm glad you learn something from it.

    best wishes!

  33. This was really sad. I am just happy it all ended with no more bullying. Your Mom didn't do the right thing. Though, I do think she wanted to fill courage in you but in a wrong way. I was shocked to read all the neighbors were standing there and doing nothing.

  34. Pat-- that really stayed with you didn't it? And I can see why. What amazing insight you have about your Mom. How long did it take you to "Get IT" about her?


  35. Warren - Thanks! That's a good idea. I would really need to do a self edit before anything else, because I'm not very good at it, and tend to post it as it comes out of my head.

    Minoccio - thanks! Wasn't me! but it is one of my favorite movies...

    NabilaHazirah - thanks! I did learn something...that my mom was crazy!

    Mr. Stupid - Yup, it was all pretty weird and sad. I know the neighbors were afraid of her. She probably also had some connections from being a local "working girl." (if you get my drift...)

  36. I don't usually "diss" anyone's parents, no matter how bad they were....but I'm dangerously close to wanting to say that I wish your mom had gotten a taste of her own medicine. :( What a horrible experience. My heart goes out to you.....but I am glad you didn't let anyone bully you after that. Bullies SUCK.

  37. Marlene - You can feel free to dis this miss...She was a very unhappy and unbalanced woman. Thanks for the nice words Marlene! I appreciate it...

  38. I just read all three parts, and gosh, I don't even know what to say. . . Like so many other commenters, I can't believe no one called the police. Thank you for sharing.

  39. Sarah - As an adult, I also can't understand why nobody called the police. I know my mom usually had a gun in her purse, or very close at hand. She was violent, crazy, and had no trouble attacking people. She also seemed to "know" a lot of the local authorities. Still, someone could/should have conplained on an anomymous basis. I know I would have been happy to be taken away from her, even if I had to live in a foster home or somewhere else.


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