Saturday, June 26, 2010

The Bully - Part 1 of 3

I haven't posted anything relating to my childhood lately, so here's another three part bit of insanity!

We were living on Rose Street, in Bellflower. I was going to the second of three schools I attended during first grade. There was this jerk of a bully who lived on our street. He was in 3rd grade and much bigger than me. We had just moved there and this idiot zeroed in on me right away, to be his next target. His bullying mostly happened at school. I tried to avoid him on the way home and in the neighborhood, but wasn't always able to do so.

One day he told me that he was going to "kick my ass" after school. I really didn't want that to happen and as soon as school let out at 2:00, I made a speedy exit before he got out of class. I made it home and felt like I was safe for a day.

After a few minutes there was a knock on the door. My mom answered it and told me that one of my friends wanted to know if I could come out and play. I went to the door and was shocked to see that it was the bully. In the phoniest "friendly" voice I've ever heard, he asked if I wanted to come out and play.

I told him I didn't want to play with him. My mom told me to go outside and play with "my friend." I told her I didn't feel good. She told the guy to wait a minute and closed the door.

She looked down at me and said, "There was nothing wrong with you five minutes ago! You need to go outside!"

"I can't go outside!" I told her.
"Why can't you go outside?" she demanded.
"If I go outside, he's going to beat me up!"

I explained what had been happening since we moved there and she got very pissed off...
Some of you who've been around here for awhile know about my mom. So what I'm about to say won't surprise you at all. For those of you who are new here, "may I present my mother, Letty Tillett..."
"What the hell do you mean; he's been picking on you?"
"He keeps pushing me around and telling me he's going to beat me up!"
"Get your ass outside!"
"But mom!"
"I'm not telling you again, get your ass outside and fight him!"
"But mom, he's going to beat me up!"
"Only if you let him!"
"He's bigger and older than me!"
"I don't give a shit! Get out there!"
"Don't make me go out there!"
"Are you more afraid of him than you are of me?"
"Then get your ass outside now!"

She opened the door and pushed me out...

Apparently the kid heard my mom yelling and knew he could do whatever he wanted. And that's exactly what he did. He pretty much beat the hell out of me. After a few minutes of getting pummeled by this kid, my mom came out and told him to get lost. She drug me into the house, gave me the once over, and cleaned the blood off of my nose and lips. She then asked me if I hit him at all. After I told her no, she told me that I was going to fight him again the next day...


  1. Wow! I don't know what to say. As a mother, I would probably have told him to get lost BEFORE he got his hands on you. My husband would have taught you to box. He taught our sons to box. Your mom sounds like a tough cookie.

    Is there a second installment so we can all hear what did happen "the next day..."?

  2. Bullies: the lowest dumb beasts in nature. I'm so sorry you went through this. But you emerged strong and stable, while the bully has probably had a miserable failure of a life.

  3. Oh. That made my stomach knot up a bit. I despise bullies and I'm sorry you had to take a sh*t-kickin'. At first I was picturing Ralphie's mom from A Christmas Story, but near the end of the story, not so much. I hope part 2 and 3 end better than part 1. (Don't keep us hanging too long.) - G

  4. Ren - Yep! She was a piece of work. In her demented mind she probably thought it made sense.

    California Girl - You are right, that would have been the right thing to do. But not in her eyes. She was more than a tough cookie, she was a crazy and brutal cookie. The neighbors wouldn't do anything about it, because then, they would have to deal with her. I know there are things I don't know about my mom, but I do know she was always armed and people were afraid of her. There is not only a second installment, but a third as well...thanks for commenting and reading!

    Margaret - I agree! This post and the two that follow, go a long way in explaining why I've hated bullies my entire life. I've taken on many of them because of what they did to weaker people.

    Gerogina - Thanks! In the overall scheme of things, I've given a lot more than I've received. But it wasn't a very warm and fuzzy way to start... I won't keep you hanging at all. Tomorrow and Monday...

  5. Damn Patrick.. I never disrespect anyones parent, but, well...
    damn is all I can say...

  6. Wow your childhood sucked. I like thinking about bad things that happened to me when I was little and realizing that it will never happen to me again because I'm grown now. Can't wait to read what happened next.

  7. My boys had a shirt when they were teens, that said... "You mess with me, you're messing with the whole family!" That's the way it was and still is. (I'm fiercely protective!) I still have that shirt.

  8. To this day, I HATE bullies and if I ever see one picking on someone, shame on them, is all I have to say!!! I too, came across a bully or two in my childhood. And, I have to say, that's what made me strong today!! Poor Pat, your mom really was a piece of work!!

  9. That sucks, man. Sorry about what you went through. Bullies are jerks, and sadly it seems like you dealt with two that day.

  10. Oh My Goodness..... I'm so non-violent that I would have NEVER told my sons to fight someone. I didn't want them to get hurt...

    Luckily, my 3 sons never got bullied (that I know of)--and I never had trouble while growing up. However, I do know that one of the neighborhood boys got after me with a stick one time --and scared the liver out of me...

    I was more afraid of big dogs than bullies... I got bit by a boxer when I was a child---and never cared for big dogs after that time.

    Have a great weekend.

  11. Lynne - Feel free! She was crazy!

    Minoccio - It did suck most of the time. But to us, that was normal. At that time, I thought everybody lived the way we did...

    Ms A - Nobody could bully me after first grade. I never gave them the chance. I did a lot of fighting after that... I didn't always win, but I wasn't afraid of it anymore.

    BMB - I know you did! That's why we are such a good couple...We both have "childhood anger booster packs!" LOL...

    Wings - Thanks! That is so true, I was more mad at my mom for what happened more than the kid...

    Betsy - Our world was based on violence. So we never had a chance to be peaceful... Thanks Betsy! You have a good weekend also.

  12. You, dear Pat, have gone throught some rough school. But instead of turning into a bitter peoplehater like your mother, you became the gentle and wonderful person we know today.
    Hats off for you! :)

  13. Once again I am left baffled by how someone could be so cold. Part 1 of 3 huh? You and your cliffhangers. Don't you know I'm impatient? lol

  14. RA - Thank you so much!

    TS - I know...I follow so many people that really long posts are cumbesome...they are okay anyway, I don't like to do that to people, so if they are too long, I break 'em up!

  15. That third grader wasn't the only bully in the neighborhood. Your mom was a bully too. Only she was the adult so that makes her a hundred times worse.

  16. betty 1951 - Calling my mom a bully, is just scratching the surface...

  17. The abuse you took directly and indirectly from your mom always makes me cringe, Pat. If only that bully had pummeled her instead!
    You're amazing to have turned out so good. I think I've said that before, but I think I may just keep saying it.

  18. Dude that is so f'd up. Hopefully you got a pipe and took it upside his head the next day...or something to get the point across. It was probably too early on to know the phrase, "take out a knee, take out the fight".

  19. Robyn - Yep, a lot about her made me cringe! My mom could handle herself better than most women in a fight. We always thought she would have been good on "roller derby." Thanks for the nice words!

    Chuck - That it is! Too bad it got worse before it got better. Part 2 in the morning, and part 3 on Monday...

  20. Mr. Tillett -- You give us textbook examples of some of the horror that exists in the world. It is stomach churning to understand that this is your history. I am so pleased that you can sit here today, a rational and eloquent gentleman, and release these incidents with seeming calmness...although the memory, your memory, has to be painful.

    Hey. Thanks for being you.

  21. Ah, Pat stories. The reason I know and love your blog.

    Finally finished the Big Lebowski with Girlfriend this evening!

  22. Lord! How awful. I can't wait for part II!

  23. Jerry - Thanks for the nice words!
    It can be ugly out there, but it's fortunate that most people don't have to witness it. My mom couldn't have existed in today's world.

    SN - Thank you my friend! So what did you think? I should have warned you that the "dream" scenes, weren't dreams. They were acid flashbacks..anyway I hope you like it and crave a "white russian" now...

    Cheeseboy - Tomorrow you shall have it...

  24. I am speechless Pat. Not at the bully part because those darn A-holes are present in everyone's life. It is your mother. I just can't figure if she is an actual sociopath or did something so awful happen to her in her own life that she lost all natural instinct in her mothering skills. It seems she does the exact opposite of what comes natural to most mothers...that is to protect your child at all costs. You seem like an amazing man and I can only admire what it has taken to get you to the point where you are at today. I am so interested in your stories since I am completely fascinated with psychology and the psycho- social behavior.

  25. DrSoosie - She was both a sociopath and a psychopath. If this were today, she would probably be diagnosed with any number of things. A decent mother would not be one of them. Thanks for the nice words! You are right, it took a lot of therapy and work to get here.

  26. I'm sorry to say Pat but I think your mother was two dirt piles short of a dump truck. I realize she may have thought she was toughening you up but what I found so strange was the lack of that protective instinct that comes to mothers when protecting their child especially when their own child is pleading for protection. When ever I was confronted with a bully I would just threaten to sue them and their family. It never worked though so I would just get revenge, egg their house,toilet paper their yard,put an extra lock on their locker at school, that sort of thing.Anyway chin up Pat, remember what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger.

  27. Cheers for sharing Pat..
    Yes, that's pretty fucked up..
    I can relate to the Bully.. I'm sure many can.. they are everywhere.. These fuckers grow up and are with us somewhere. I think some, not all, continue to bully in other forms as adults. ie abusive relationships, even if its merely verbally... and in the workplace.. I think these people do well in workplaces.. We still come across them..

    Youre mum did the wrong thing..though I can understand a parent wanting to teach their child how to defend themselves.. but not that way.. and I realise this is just one bad example from her..

    Looking forward to Part 2..

    I really want revenge on bullies.. There is a rise in Bullying related violence here in Australia.. I think with the internet and personal phones, it has become worse... its so easy now to intimidate people..There's been alot of teenage suicide here this past year.. it saddens and angers me...fucking cowards

  28. That's awful. Bullies are always the worst kind of people to find. I met many in School. Though, they never beat me up.
    Looking forward to Part 2...

  29. Best part:

    "You want a toe?! I can get you a toe..."

  30. Warren - Thanks! She was the whole load! She had no mothering instinct in her. If she did, she lost at some point. I went a different route later, I used to highly enjoy beating the hell out of bullies. I did it often. Things are really good now! Thanks for the positive thoughts.

    Anthony - It's especially bad when these people get into positions of authority. I totally agree with you, under the bullying, there is usually a coward.

    Mr. Stupid - You are so right. They are scum...

    Soft nonsense - LOL, I know you put this in the wrong place...

  31. Bullies... something I have to deal with on a daily basis in the course of the school year. They come in mixed batches. There are those who bully because they're afraid. And there are those who bully because they think they can scare you. And there are so many dynamics that make the whole picture fall into the colors we see in front of us. But yes, bullies are a real part of school... and life.

    On to read Part 2.


  32. Nevine - You are so right, especially at schools. I've never put up with them since this little exercise in craziness...

  33. Hey Pat,

    A lot of screwed up stuff that we went through as kids is really hard to go back and talk about, the good thing is we can get it off our chest and also make sure our kids and grandkids don't have to see it.

    I hate you went through all of this my Friend and as has been pointed out there was not only one bully but an adult who should have been protecting you that did everything but.

  34. Jimmy - My mom was indeed a bully to most people, to us she was just crazy...There were a lot of examples where she didn't protect us...

  35. I left a comment to you when you wrote Part 2 (I am behind in reading blogs so read part 2 before coming to read part one).
    All I can do now is just send you one big (hug)....and hope that Karma took care of the ass that picked on you...and as for your mom? Well, everyone else has said it already....she was beyond pitiful and hateful...a real piece of work.

  36. I can Only PRAY that I never bullied anyone! Even unintentionally! I hope I didn't!



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