Dancing With The Scars - Post week 2

Truly, I don't know a fox trot, from a foxes arse. But I do know people.

Just like I predicted, the control freak (Kate Gosselin) showed her true colors this week! She criticized her teachers ability to teach! It got so bad that her partner quit!. Of course he came back, but he wasn't happy with her.  Not only that, but I'm totally on John Gosselin's side now. JOHN, AMERICA NOW FEELS YOUR PAIN!  Oh yeah, she really really sucks as a dancer.

Jake Pavelka hasn't cried yet. But if you saw "The Bachelor" at all, you know he cried every week. And you just know that biotch is gonna let fly with the tears, before this season is over.

Pamela Anderson was made up to look like Marilyn Monroe.  I was surprised that they did such a good job. She actually looked just like Marilyn, about 6 months after she died...

Shannen Doherty and Pamela Anderson have already been offered a one season gig with "Floozies on Ice."

Forget that stiff Buzz Aldrin, did you see his wife? The only parts of her face that moved were her eyeballs and her chin. When she spoke it looked like a mannequin. Is her goal to look like a freaking cat or what?

Ochocinco and Cheryl Burke will be in the gossip magazines by weeks end. Mark my word!  If he does get kicked off, the two of them will be in Barbados (or somewhere), before those magazines come out...

Dancing with the Scars - Things to Watch For

The show comes on in a few hours, so I better get this posted now.

I finally decided how I could come to terms with commenting on this show (at least one more time), when I really don’t watch them dance, or even really like it. When I "accidentally" watch parts of it, I ask questions about what I’m seeing and thinking. The women watching it at my house all ignore me, or say sweet things like "piss off!" or "shut the hell up!” or “don’t you have some tire pressure or something to check?”  They can banish me, they can try to stifle me, but I won’t go to the garage quietly. There are things I need to know:

When will Pamela Anderson and Shannen Doherty finally duke it out?  They can’t stand each other and the word from backstage, is that there is a lot of tension because they apparently shared multiple partners in the past.  In fact, both of these bargain basement trollops ladies were married to Rick Salomon. I’m thinking by week four, there’s going to be an all out skank-fight. Seriously, which one of these two “ladies,” has "known" the most male celebs? (and yes, I do mean it in the biblical sense!)

Will Pamela even make it to week four? Will she be kicked off the show for improper off-hours cavorting with members of the band? Is there a musician alive who can resist, when she starts waving around those robust and rock hard.... fake eyelashes? (more than one rock star has suffered corneal abrasions to those things)

How many weeks will it take for Kate Gosselin to get fed up and start ordering crew members around? What’s the difference between her and OctoMom anyway? Aren’t both of them really just attention loving media whores at this point?

Is there really any difference between Buzz Aldrin and Cloris Leachman? Not much really, except I think Buzz has had far more cosmetic surgery. Speaking of cosmetic surgery, is Buzz playing cosmetic surgery “one-upmanship” against his own wife? Seriously, I haven’t seen anything like those two since the “King Tut” exhibit was in town. whatever happened to growing old gracefully?

Do you think Chad Ochocinco has already danced on the horizontal plane, in addition to the vertical, with his partner Cheryl Burke? Did you know he has his own line of condoms? That’s right! “Ocho-Cinco Condoms.“ What the heck, she’s rumored to have horizontally danced with most of her other partners on the show… Or so I've been told...

Dancing with the Scars

I’m not really a “Dancing with the Stars” watcher.  I'm sometimes in the room while it’s on, but I’m usually doing something else. Last night was the first show of the new season and I accidentally watched some of it.

I’m sorry, I know you’re not expecting this kind of post out of me, but I gotta spew every once in awhile.

Pamela Anderson.
Can everybody say Skank please? It must have been a long hard road to get from CJ Parker, to over the hill star-f’er. I wonder how many rock bands she had to go through to get to this point. Did anybody but me think she was “tweaked” last night? Does anybody still find her even remotely sexy?

Kate Gosselin
Has anybody ever looked more uncomfortable on television than her? Doesn’t she have 10 or 15 kids she should be home with? Why are people trying to make a “celebrity” out of this pushy control freak? Seriously, did you ever see her cable show?

Buzz Aldrin
Not much to say about him. He’ll be gone soon. Thanks for the moon and everything, but dude, what the hell is up with your wife?  Now that I think about, her and Pamela Anderson don't look all that different.

Thank you for listening. I promise never to do this again (maybe).

Back to more LSD exploits tomorrow.

Five Day Mail Delivery

I usually try to stay away from commenting on current events, but sometimes I just can't...

If you’ve been watching the news, or reading your local rag, you are probably aware that the U.S. Postal Service is contemplating stopping Saturday mail delivery. They’ve been talking about it for years, but in our current economic situation, it may become a huge money saving reality.

Seriously, what’s the big deal?  There is only one group of people who lobby against the change in a major way.  That group is the elderly. Of course, they don't do it themselves, but they have plenty of interest groups representing them, with AARP being the largest.

Of course you're probably thinking there is no way that AARP has that much clout in American politics.  Well, think again. There are about 300 million people in the U.S.  Of  those people, over 40 million belong to AARP.  Most members of the Senate and House of Representatives, belong to the same age demographic!

Now I'm all for "senior rights" and things like that, but Saturday delivery?  Keep in mind that most of the mail that lands in your mailbox is bulk (junk) mail.

The elderly value opening a piece of "junk" mail, as much as they value a visit from an old friend! Many old timers not only read it, they respond to it, and obey what it says as if it were a court order. To them, a day without mail, is like a day without friends. 

Many "elderly" people, including some related to me, don't understand that if the postage on an envelope is “bulk rate,” you are not required to respond in any way. You are not required to open a new credit card. You are not required to donate money to every organization begging for it. And last but not least, you are not required to sign up to receive “collectibles” of anything, on a bi-whatever basis. Truth be told, if something is advertised as collectible, it isn’t, and it never will be.

In closing, what do you receive in the mail that is so important, that you must have it on Saturday, rather than Monday? With very few exceptions, the answer is nothing!