Dogs Are Sociopaths -- Part 5 -- Intelligence

Doesn’t a dog notice that when it goes from one room to another it walks freely through an open door? When that same door is closed, do they really think they can simply scratch through it? Or better yet, dig under it?

How about when they go outside? Even if there is plenty of unplanted dirt around, why do they have to dig up your flowers, garden, or your entire lawn?  What about swallowing rocks? And last but not least, what about that nasty little habit some of them have, that involves eating their own poop? Some dogs are not very smart…

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This is the last entry on dogs for a while. I do, however, have a few things to say about my favorite (truly) animals. Cats...

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Dogs Are Sociopaths -- Part 4 -- Perversion

Do dogs have poor vision?
I'm pretty sure that the opposite is true. So then, why do most male dogs have the “need” to hump everything in sight? It could be a female dog, another male dog, a piece of furniture, the family cat, your leg, the leg of an unsuspecting visitor, or even the leg of your child!
Many dogs are perverts…

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Dogs Are Sociopaths -- Part 3 -- Vandalism

Most dogs will destroy anything they can get their teeth into. This is especially true if no one is home to stop them. A bone or that special “chew toy” just isn't enough. They want to chew on something that belongs to you instead. Your furniture and clothing are good. Your newspapers, magazines and books are great. Your shoes, glasses, toothbrush, dentures, or collectibles are fantastic. If a dog can get to a box or bag of food, forget about it! It will tear it open and scatter the contents all over the room. If you are lucky enough to walk in and catch them in the act, they will have the unmitigated nerve NOT to be sorry, guilty, or even remotely afraid! No. they will still want to jump on you, lick you, and be taken for a walk.

Don’t EVER leave a can of spray paint sitting around when you go someplace; you’ll probably come home to some type of demented canine graffiti. Many dogs are vandals…

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Dogs Are Sociopaths -- Part 2 -- Theft

We all know about a dog’s need to bury things in the back yard. It could be a bone, a toy, or even a small dead animal it has found. I’m sure it has something to do with their instincts. A genetic skill passed on from hundreds or thousands of past generations, when they had to protect food from other animals in the wild. But what the heck does that have to do with taking your socks or other personal items and hiding them? I guess from a dog’s point of view if it’s worth chewing on, it’s worth saving for later. Dogs are thieves…



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Dogs Are Sociopaths -- Part 1 -- Dishonesty

First of several posts relating to man's best friend. Some of them were posted a long time ago when I had 3 followers (one of them being me).

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate dogs, I just don’t trust them…
Although most dogs would prefer to poop outside, it’s not a requirement. They are more than willing to do it wherever they happen to be when the urge hits. It could be on your furniture, in front of the door, or even on your clothing. They are not even opposed to leaving a "gift" right on your pillow! And after he’s done it, when you come home, your dog will dash to the front door to greet you and act like nothing happened! Like he doesn’t know what he left on your pillow! When you find it later and call him on it, he’s just going to cock his head to one side and give you a look that says “what are you talking about? I haven’t even been in this room all day!” Dogs are liars…

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I have no idea where I got this cartoon from. If it belongs to you and you don't want it here, just let me know...

And Finally, To You Cat Haters

And finally, many dog owners hate cats!

If they don’t hate them, they still wouldn’t own one. Why you ask? The answer is simple, but cat haters won’t dare speak it! They hate cats because they can’t control them! A cat only needs you to give it some food, water, and a small place to go to the bathroom.  If it wants attention, it will let you know.

Do you want to go somewhere overnight, or even for a couple of days? What do you do with the cat? Nothing!!! Leave it extra food, extra water, and clean the cat box before leaving! Cats are easy compared to high maintenance dogs. But that doesn’t matter because dogs seem to fill an emotional hole in some people.

I hope you don't think I'm being too discriminatory towards dogs and their owners.  If you do, I assure you that I'm not going to let cats totally off the hook. I'll get to those aloof little fur balls later...

Picking Up Dog Poo

This entry concerns the groundswell movement related to the banning of all plastic bags. There are many people and politicians going hot and heavy in that direction right now. A few cities on the west coast have banned them already.

What if these people are successful and there is a total ban?

What are dog owners going to use to pick up their dog’s crap off of their neighbor’s lawn?

Crater or Cratee

Am I the only one who finds crating dogs for an entire day cruel? 
You craters out there, how would you like to be the "cratee" for a change?  I don't even know if that's a real word, but I'm sure you get the point.

Before your spouse goes to work, how would you like it if they “crated” your ass for an entire day? You think that sounds silly?  What if you have to go to the bathroom?  Too crating bad! What if you have to go so badly, that you "soil" your crate?  Too crating bad! Sit in it.

Many dog owners say silly things like, “this is my dog Vishnu, Sparky, Spot, Killer, or whatever; he’s a real part of the family.”

Seriously? Do you "crate" the other members of your family also?  No daycare available for little Jimmy today?   No problem, just throw him in the crate. Add a bowl of water and a bowl of gummy worms, and he'll be just fine.

If you have no other choice but to crate your dog for an entire day, you shouldn't have a friggin' dog.  To those of you who I know and love, this applies to you also!

Away For the Weekend? Think Again

I’m just wondering…

Why would you own a pet that you can’t leave at home alone for more than a couple of hours, or not at all?

Want to go out of town for the weekend?
I don’t think so!

Not unless:
a) A family member or friend comes and stays at your house.
b) You’ve hired someone to come and stay at your house full time, or visit several times a day.
c) You’ve boarded your dog out.

Some dog owners tend to buy things (including pets) impulsively...

Dog Pee

The mere fact that your neighbors know you have dogs, is reason enough not to!  Unless they only know because they see you take your dog for walks, not because they bark incessantly.

Speaking of walking dogs; owners have gotten pretty good at picking up their dog’s poop, putting it in a bag, and taking it home. But will somebody please explain to me why it is still perfectly okay for that same dog to pee everywhere?

Dog urine is not fertilizer! Dog urine is not “Miracle-Grow!” It kills grass and plants. It discolors fences, hydrants, tires, and everything else it comes in contact with! Oh yeah, let’s not forget that the grass, plants, tree, fences, hydrants, tires, and everything else they pee on, belongs to someone else...

Barking

Dog Owners!

You do know that your dogs bark, right? But do you know that they save the best, loudest, and most consistent string of barks for your neighbors to enjoy after you’ve gone to work or out for the evening?

We all know dogs bark and it’s to be expected to a certain extent, but please! Have you ever known someone who lives on a busy street or near an airport? Don’t they always say they don’t really hear the traffic or plane noise after a while? Well, the same goes for dog barking! You got used to it, but your neighbors never will. They usually won’t say anything to you because they don’t want to strain your relationship. So just because they don’t complain to you about your dog barking doesn’t mean they aren’t bothered by it!  Some (not all) dog owners tend to be self absorbed and inconsiderate…

Stockholm Syndrome

The dog validates that the owner is worthy of unconditional love.

Have you ever heard of “Stockholm Syndrome?” That’s what I attribute the “unconditional love” to. Why in the heck else would a dog whom you’ve kept in a small cage all day greet you with happiness? They’ve lost their sense of self. A bit more somber greeting like biting through your Achilles tendon seems a more appropriate response to me.

Many people feel that their dogs need them. But the opposite is sometimes true; many dog owners need their dogs. They need them to feel superior to something, to feel needed, and they need them so they can be “in charge” of something!  Many dog owners have control issues…

Multiple Dogs

At risk of raising the ire of both friends and relatives...

a) Why in the world would you have a dog in an apartment?
b) Or any place without a yard for that matter?
c) Why would you have more than one dog in a house?
d) Or two, or three, or four, or more dogs anywhere but on a farm?

These are smart people, why can’t they see that? My next door neighbors are amazingly exempt from this complaint. They own 5 dogs and they are pretty darn quiet.

Of course many dog owners are perfectly capable and stable enough to handle the task, but we all know many who are not.

Seriously, Yuck!

Don’t people know that if they have dogs their house smells like it?

Don’t they know if they have more than one dog using their backyard as a bathroom, that their neighbors can smell it?

And how do they then let their children play on that same lawn or patio that is saturated with dog urine and feces?

Many dog owners have a poor sense of smell and are probably septic…