Showing posts with label not my photo. Show all posts
Showing posts with label not my photo. Show all posts

Friday, November 11, 2011

The Ultimate Sacrifice

Rivers of Despair













Somewhere in the Kentucky hill country
Heartbreak flows through hidden valleys like a breeze
Sorrow falls from slate gray clouds in sheets
Rivers of despair cut soft stone deeply
Gentle crying lingers on the air like an echo

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An old post that had about 5 comments, two of which were mine.
The photo was from google and uncredited.

This was supposed to be a Weekend Reflections post, but I obviously did the wrong one!
Sorry about that!

Monday, March 7, 2011

Rocky Marciano's Nose


An extremely bright and distant child
Quite distracted while in school
His name brought up in quiet tones
Over coffee in the lounge
Daily conversation with his teacher
A subterfuge to check him for his wounds
They cannot talk to his mother
She's wearing sunglasses in the rain
A beautiful woman she is
With Rocky Marciano's nose
The father a well respected man
A contradiction on the edge
The wild look in his eyes tells you
It's best to leave it alone
Father to father, son to son
Poisonous legacy of tragic secrets
What can anybody do?
His mother is wearing sunglasses in the rain


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Yet another old one posted when I had very few followers and fewer comments. This poem is only autobiographical in the sense that there was a great deal of abuse in my childhood.  There was no father in the picture to dish it out. That was my mom's job...

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Monday, February 21, 2011

Yesterday's News


Rose petals
Baby's breath
Fallen from the trash
Lead crystal vase
Worthless treasure 
Laying on top of
Yesterday's news

My love lies in the alley
Ground into the pavement
By a trashman's boot

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I first posted this poem about 18 months ago when I had just a few followers. It received only two comments  (thanks Tim and Sarah)

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Monday, December 27, 2010

The Jordan H.S. Match Gun Incident

Thanks everyone for the great Christmas messages, posts and comments. I very much appreciate them all. Now it's time to share some more stories from my dysfunctional and crazy childhood. This one was posted shortly after I started my blog and I don't think anybody outside of my family read it and/or commented.  

There is a way to make a “match gun” using a wooden clothes pin and a rubber band. I don’t remember who taught me how to do it, but I experimented until it worked. It had to do with taking the clothespin apart and reassembling it backwards. The rubber band is there to hold one end of the clothes pin together. The match (a wooden kitchen type), lights as it is shot out of the clothespin by one end of the spring. I just found the above picture on the Internet, and it looks pretty close to the ones that we made. Yes, we were evil wicked children...

I don’t remember the exact year, but I think it was 6th grade. It was mid-summer and very hot. Kenny Meeks and I were walking down Myrtle Avenue in North Long Beach, along the backside of Jordan High School where the athletic fields are. We were having an ongoing “war” with our match guns, shooting them at each other. I suppose it could hurt if one hit you in the eye, but we were young and didn’t worry about it at all. I shot one at my friend and it zipped right by his head. We continued on our merry way until we noticed smoke coming from the area we just came from.

We hid our match guns and ran back to where the smoke was. I guess the match that whizzed by my friends head went through the fence and caught some grass on fire.  As we looked through the fence it was very obvious that it hadn't been watered all summer. It was brown and dry and starting to burn. The fence was too tall to climb over and there were no gates on that side of the school. There was only one option remaining and we took it. We ran! The hidden match guns were forgotten. What match guns anyway?

We ended up at our original destination which was the local junior high school to play bombardier in the gym. A few hours later we walked by the high school again on our return trip. A patch of grass about the size of half a football field was burnt. We couldn’t tell if a fire truck had been called to put it out or not, but because there was nobody in the area, we assumed the fire just burnt itself out.


Several years later I attended that high school. Every time I was in that area I thought about the fire and the match guns, and just how little supervision I had as a kid.  Of course with my mother, having little or no supervision was a good thing...

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Where Clarity Remains


The Walk

The solitary old man
Finds himself
Retracing lover’s steps
In their old places
Lingering
Where they once 
Stood together
Tossing stale bread
To busy ducks
Nine years later
To the day
He dissolves in tears
With his sight unclear
He shrinks upon himself
To the one place
Where his memories
Are handled and stored
With special care
To the one place
Where clarity remains

Soon my love
He whispers
Soon...
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Original artwork provided by Pam Tucker.
More of her fantastic art can be found at Pam T’s Art Loft.
 
 
 
 
 
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Monday, November 22, 2010

Hair Cream versus Tooth Paste


My dad kept his tube of hair cream and comb in a drawer next to the bathroom sink. His tooth brush and tooth paste were in the medicine cabinet over the sink. He was out late most nights and was usually pretty bleary eyed when he got up in the morning. 

One Saturday morning, my brother and I swapped the two tubes, hoping that he wouldn’t notice until it was too late. We sat in the living room waiting for him to get up and go to the bathroom for a long time.  

After what seemed like hours, we heard him come out of his room and go into the bathroom. The first noise we heard was the toilet flushing, the second was the bathroom faucet running, the third noise sounded like some kind of wild animal.

Apparently fate selected the “brush your teeth with hair cream” scenario over “comb your hair with toothpaste,” because the "wild animal" noises turned into some very loud retching. Then the sound of my dad throwing up!

After a few minutes he came out of the bathroom with one tube in each hand. We sat quietly on the couch watching TV, like we didn’t know (or hear) a thing while he stomped into the kitchen and asked my mom about it. She claimed to know nothing and told him that he must have put them away in the wrong places the day before. When he walked by us on his way back to the bathroom, he paused for just a second and stared at us.


We must have looked innocent, because he didn’t say a word.  I think he knew on some level that we did it, but he never asked.

I don't have many happy childhood stories, this is one of them...
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I first posted this when I had only a handful of readers and it received exactly zero comments

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Thursday, November 18, 2010

Kindle - This is Not an Ad

Before I start, I'd like to make one thing very clear. I love books. I love reading them, I love looking at them, I love touching them, and I love collecting them.  Because of these things I've never been a fan of ebooks, or any of the new "readers." After I read a book, I want to keep it.

I have no idea how many books I've read in my life, but the number has to be in the thousands. Storing even a fraction of that number, requires a tremendous amount of room.  I didn't want to rent storage for them, so several years ago I started donating, or just giving them away to people that I knew would read them.   Of course there are some that I would NEVER part with.

A couple of months ago, I received a Kindle for my birthday. Much to my surprise, I fell in love with it. It's takes only a few seconds to download a book, the format is amazingly clear, and the darn thing holds about 3500 books!

Amazon.com has many of the classics in kindle format for free. I downloaded about 50 of them and am just about to dive in. I've read most of them before, but can't wait to get started anew. Depending on which model you buy, you can even go online and blog!

You can also use your Kindle to store all of your personal documents. They will format them for you for free and it only takes a minute or two.

If there is a book that I MUST have and it isn't available on kindle, I'm probably still going to buy it, but that will be the only reason. My sources tell me that it won't be very long before every new book will be available for download.  I was amazed to find out how many old books are already available.

If some of you now see me as a traitor, I'm sorry. For those of you currently working on books, I'll be supporting you via Kindle or paper, whatever it takes!

Do any of you have a Kindle or something like it?

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Monday, November 8, 2010

Post Number 500

This is apparently my 500 post!

Somewhere around 90 percent were posted on this blog with a small percentage on my now defunct photography blog. I was thinking about putting some kind of deep and wordy post together to memorialize the event.  This isn’t going to be it.
I will say that I totally appreciate all of you who follow and comment on the things I post here.
Truth be told, I’m just too darn tired and burnt out to post anything. I’m going to take a few days off to get some stuff done.  Everything is okay, I promise! I'll be back soon.
Just too much to do…

Just too many plates!

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Happy Halloween

After dark
Halloween
Can't believe
Things I've seen
Scary faced goblins
Gremlins galore
Wolf men
Vampires
Knock at our door
Pirates
Princesses
Come into view
Best costumed one
Tomorrow night's stew

(photo: BWP)
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Thursday, September 23, 2010

Live My Life Again


You walk through the
Gardens of your dreams
Turning over new soil as you go
A warm and happy journey
From here to where you are now
I'll be waiting
Lying patiently beside you
Listening for the 6:00 a.m. Amtrak
It's long lonesome whistle
Strained and softened by falling snow
Just an hour from now 'til dawn
More than enough time
To live my life again


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Tomorrow morning, BMB and I will be on our latest road trip.
This time to Sedona Arizona, Oak Creek Canyon, Flagstaff, Jerome, and the Grand Canyon (maybe).  I'm hoping to stay off my laptop and phone for a week. So I'm going to get behind on my blog reading (and everything else).  However, I do plan on burning up my cameras. Hope my wife doesn't mind doing most of the driving, so I'm free to shoot on the move.

photo

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Wednesday, August 25, 2010

COSTCO


I'm sure this subject has just about been beaten to death on various blogs.

I love Costco!
There I've said it...

  • I've gone to Costco several times for no other reason, besides eating for free.
  • I've totally gotten over my shyness about "repeat" sampling.
  • Sometimes I take more than one at a time.
  • The best time to go is about 3:00 P.M. on a weekday.
  • If I can't get full on samples, a polish sausage and a "bottomless" drink for $1.50 can take care of the rest.
  • I've entered famished and left needing nothing but a nap.

I live in the only zip code in the United States that has more than one Costco. We live between them. It's about 5 minutes in either direction.

You know what? I'm going today! I sure hope they are giving out samples of all the different flavored sausages.

Is it just me?

 

Friday, August 13, 2010

Silver Blue


Full moon shining
Through scattered clouds
Bathing your angel face
In silver blue

Soft eyes glowing
Innocent smile
Last night I saw you as a woman
I saw you as a little girl


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Saturday, August 7, 2010

Taco on a Bun

BELL BEEFER

I assume that most of you have eaten at Taco Bell sometime in your life.  Some of you may have eaten there MANY times in your life. Currently, one of their catch phrases is "Think Outside the Bun!" I find this to be a very odd thing,  because their absolute best menu item ever, did in fact, come on a bun...

It was called the Bell Beefer...

The Bell Beefer was a taco served on a very fresh hamburger bun, instead of in a taco shell. I loved those things!  Even today, when we are having tacos at home, I sometimes make mine on a bun, or two pieces of bread. IT IS NOT A SLOPPY JOE! It doesn't taste like a sloppy joe at all. It's a taco on a bun and it's great...


best photo I could find

upper right menu, fourth item down, "bell beefer"

Does anybody out there remember these things?

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Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Winter Moonlight


Winter moonlight
Casts an ivory glow
Upon your hair
As it lay web like
Across my pillow
The night has taken you
I lay waiting for dawn
Alone

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Saturday, July 3, 2010

“False Bravado” USMC Boot Camp -- Part 1


The bus trip from the Los Angeles Military Induction Center, to the San Diego Marine Corps Recruit Depot wasn’t a long one. At two in the morning it would take no more than a couple of hours. More than enough time for me to wonder long and hard, why I was there. There wasn’t any guarantee that I’d be drafted, at least not anytime soon. I had to remind myself that I signed up because I wanted to do my share for my country.

The boisterous shouting and excessive laughter of the last hour was just about gone. I suppose those still being heard, thought the rest of us would interpret their continuing noise as bravery in the light of impending disaster. All I heard was the false bravado of those much too afraid to be alone with their thoughts.

The bus sped through the night; breezing through the southern California countryside with little traffic and no reason to slow down. For the last 20 minutes or so there had barely been a noise.  The closer we got to San Diego, the quieter it became, soon there was nothing being said at all.  The air became heavy with the thoughts of 60 guys quietly stewing in their own juices.

As we entered the city limits of San Diego, every head in the bus started pivoting from side to side. Everyone was trying to get their first glimpse of the Marine Base. It didn’t take long before the bus arrived at our destination. We went through the base gate and drove down a narrow road passing between old Spanish style buildings. We eventually pulled into a clearing. Not far from where we parked, I could see a large rectangular mass of what looked like yellow footprints painted on the black top.

Before I could give it another thought, the door slammed open and hell climbed into the bus…

To go directly to the next part of this story click here.

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Friday, June 18, 2010

Late Afternoon Silence


Steadfast elm and willow
Cradle the timeless river
Perfect reflections flawed
By concentric circles
Of fallen leaves
Late afternoon silence
Broken by quick jumps
Of lightning trout
Feeding on lazy insects



Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Mad Mad Mad



Mad, mad, mad, you’re mad as hell
You’re as goddamn mad as can be
Why don’t you channel some of that anger?
On something else besides me

Sarcastic and cynical, the devil’s advocate
Are the places you’ll likely be
Put some of that energy to better use
On something else besides me

Friday, March 19, 2010

a day NOT like any other day


It’s 1972, I’m 22 years old. I’m working in a warehouse (when I show up) and partying (most of the time). I didn't make very much money, but with roommates, I managed. I spent a lot more time having fun, than paying attention to work. Obviously, I didn’t keep that job for very long. I shared an old house with two girls I’d known since high school. We lived together as friends and had a great time. If anybody today saw the inside of the house, I’m sure the first word out of their mouth would be “hippies!” Tapestries, water beds, candles, etc… There were always people over. They were either females, who were friends of my roommates, or guys who liked them. I was of course deep into self medicating, but at the time I just thought I was having fun.

A young couple moved into the old house across the street. The female was very cute and seemed very friendly. The only real contact I'd had with her, was saying hello when I was going to work in the morning. She apparently worked the graveyard shift somewhere and was just getting home as I was leaving. I saw her boyfriend, husband, or whatever he was, even less. One thing led to another and she and I started talking. Her name was Bonnie and I was happy to find out that the guy she lived with, was actually her brother. One day she invited me over for dinner. I accepted the offer, the dinner went well, and we agreed to do it again.

I seldom saw her brother and only knew that he was going to a trade school, learning electronics. I’m actually very sorry that I ever saw him at all. One morning, I walked across the street to pick her up to go do something. We were just getting ready to go when there was a knock on the door. She opened it and three guys pushed their way in. All three of them had handguns. They were pointing them directly at me! Not that they even needed the guns. All three of them were very large and very rough looking biker types. Two of them had colors on, but I’ll just keep the name to myself. The first words that one of them said to me was something very close to, “you’re fucking dead meat!”

Not my idea of a friendly greeting.  I didn't know what to say.
“I am?” “Why?”
“You know why!”
“I have no idea; I’ve never seen you guys in my life!”
"We've never seen you before either, but you're still dead!"
One of the others said “you think you can narc on our brother and get away with it?”

I’m totally confused until one of them tells me they’ve been watching the house and were waiting for me to get home. My friend and I look at each other at just about the same exact time and realize that they are looking for her brother.

Oh my god, where is her brother? Well, she didn’t say anything right away, and I’m not about to take a bullet for her brother, or pretty much anybody else. Of course in the time it just took me to write that sentence, I’d already told them about 50 times that, a) I don’t live here, and b) I’m not her brother! She seems to be in shock. I can’t tell if she’s relived that it wasn’t me they were looking for, or upset because her brother is in danger.

Apparently, her brother had bought some drugs from one of the guys in their MC. Shortly afterwards he was busted by the Long Beach PD (who else) and did in fact cut a deal.  Those kind of deals usually go like this; "If you tell us who you bought the drugs from and it checks out, we will let you go."

I was supposed to have a beard, but I didn't. One of the guys left the house to make a phone call. They wanted to find out exactly what the guy they'd been waiting for looked like.  They were thinking that I might have shaved off my beard. We didn’t look that much alike, but I insisted that Bonnie get them a picture of him to compare to me. She did, it clearly wasn't me.

Once they were satisfied that it wasn’t me they were after, they turned their attention to her. They wanted to know where her brother was. She didn’t know… This went back and forth for a while, until one of the guys said that if she didn’t tell them what they wanted to know, they were all going to “do her.” She responded with something very close to “you’ll have to kill me first!” Oh shit, if they kill her, they will probably kill me as well. Tell them where your brother is!” I said to her.

She’s not having it; she’s not going to cooperate with them at all. She’s really starting to make them mad. A cocked pistol held against her forehead did nothing. One of them slapped her, it did nothing. She just glared at them. I swore to myself that if I should be lucky enough to live through this, I’d have nothing more to do with this woman.

One of the guys has the bright idea to search her brother's room. He’s in there for a while tearing it apart, and walks out with the schedule for her brother's trade school classes! And he’s scheduled to be in class at that very moment. I’m hoping that maybe they’ll just walk out the door and go to him. Nope! One of them said they were going to the school to get him and that we were going with them.

We all walk out of the house, one of them in front of us and two behind. The guy behind me wants to make sure I know he still has a gun, and keeps poking me in the back with it. I turned my head and gave him a dirty look. All that accomplished was to make him poke me in the back, even harder.  Down the street a couple of houses, there’s a ford van parked. I assumed that is where we were going, and it was. The driver in front, and the other two guys in the back with us. One of them told us about 10 different things that would result in our being shot. Don’t move, don’t yell, don’t try to get out of the van, etc.

So we drive to the trade school. It’s in another part of Long Beach, but not too far away. They discuss how they are going to get her brother out of class, and into their van. One of them goes in? She goes in with one of them? She goes in alone? I go in? It’s decided that she is going to go in by herself and bring him out. If she’s not back within 10 minutes, they are going to kill me. Stupid idea! But they seem to like it. So thinking of my own survival I said “we haven’t been dating that long, and her brother probably means more to her than I do.” She’ll probably tip him off and they’ll both split.

I think I’m making a good point. I know they heard me, but they aren’t responding. One of them finally says, “he may be right, what kind of car does he drive?” She said she doesn’t know what the make or model is, and only knows what it looks like. Sure she doesn’t… “1949 Buick Road Master,” I said “gray primer.”

So now were driving around the parking lot, and nearby streets looking for his car. We can’t find it anywhere. Where is he? Did he skip school and go somewhere else? Is he home now? This is getting too complicated. The driver said he was going back to the school. He was going to go in with her to see if her brother was there. If they didn’t see him in the class he was scheduled to be in, they’d ask at the office. I assumed he picked himself to go with her because he was the most “normal” looking of the trio. That may be true, but “normal” is an extremely relative term. He did not look normal to me. He looked like a maniac.

It’s getting damn hot in that van and I just want to get it all over with. My friend and the driver walk into the school. I don’t know if I’m hoping he’s there, or that he’s not there. We’ve been in the parking lot, or driving around this school for quite a while now, and somebody may think something is up, and call the police. At least that’s what I hoped for a minute or two. And then I was struck with the reality of the situation. If these guys would kill us without reservation, they would probably shoot it out with the cops. Hell they may be wanted already. Son of a bitch!

The two of them were gone for about five minutes. When they walked out, it was still just the two of them. Her brother hadn’t shown up for school and didn’t show up the day before either. So now we’re speeding back to her house to see if he’s there. The car isn’t there. We drive around the immediate vicinity, the car is nowhere. “What now?” I asked. The driver told me to shut up. I did… The van parks, we all get out. We all go into the house. We all sit down. And we wait, and we wait, and we wait. We wait for a few hours. After they get nothing further out of her about her brother’s possible where abouts, they stop asking.

Nobody is talking. Her and I haven’t said a word to each other for a long time. The three guys aren’t even talking among themselves. I’m not liking this at all. They seem much too serious about the whole thing now. Eventually two of them leave the room, and are talking in low tones that we can’t quite understand. They finish talking and go into her brother’s room again. I wasn't sure what they were looking for, but when they came out, it’s clear they found something. Well, it’s not what they found; it’s what they didn’t find. What they didn’t find was very many items of clothing. Pretty much everything in his room was on the floor from the first search, and apparently, the one who did it, failed to mention that there was hardly anything in his dresser drawers or hanging in his closet.  They are pissed off!

He had split…

The same two guys left the room again. I’m thinking it’s all going to end now. And not in a good way. There is no where to go, at least one of them always has gun pointed right at me. And I have no doubt that the one doing it now wouldn’t hesitate to shoot me. I’m working on a plan, I have to do something. I think I can over power the guy who is left to guard us, if I do it quick enough, I can grab his gun before the other two react and come back into the room. I can either go down fighting, or I can…the decision is made for me, by me, somewhere in the back of my head……I disassociate. I don’t care anymore, I’m not afraid. I don’t feel anything. I’m going to do it even if it gets me killed.

I’m going to grab the ashtray sitting on the table beside me, and I’m going to brain the one watching us. I’m going to do it when he’s looking at her. But he keeps l o o k i n g at me. I can’t wait much longer, the others will come back soon. I’m about to do it, even while he’s looking straight at me. My legs and arms are tensing, getting ready to leap out of my chair.

Just before I spring at him, I vaguely hear one of the others talking to us as they walk back into the room. His voice sounds distant and like a whisper to me. He said that they were leaving now, and if we call the police, some others will be visiting us, and they will kill us in a horrible way. I don’t remember if I believed him or not, or if I even reacted.

They walked out the door.
We didn't call the police.

After they left, bonnie told me that she knew her brother was gone the whole time. He had told her what happened with the police. He came directly home from jail, packed some of his stuff, put it in his car, and headed for their home town of Eureka. After she laid that gem on me, I knew she was capable of anything and that I had to get the hell away from her.  I've never laid a hand on a woman (in anger) in my life, but at that moment, I came so very close to ruining my perfect record.  She really did earn it.

I didn't get away from her for a while. The only good thing about that (which I'm sure could be debated) will be covered in future stories...