Most kids attending fourth grade in California schools are required to make a model of any one of the the 21 early California Spanish Catholic Missions. Bossy Betty recently posted a blog entry about the subject. I left her a comment, but saved most of the pain for my own blog. Here it is...
I recall with terror fondly remember my own mission project in the fourth grade. I chose Mission San Juan Capistrano because my mother said she'd have one of her drunken friends someone take me down there to see it, before I started making it. Of course that never happened, so I used a photo I found in a book. My primary building materials were sugar cubes, model glue, paint, and cardboard. I obtained all the items from Cole's Market and Jigg's hobby shop.
I shoplifted purchased the sugar cubes from Cole's and found the cardboard in their dumpster. I pocketed bought the other items from Jigg's. I knew it wasn't the right thing to do, but I had no other way of getting the materials I needed. Besides, I was already pretty good at what we called "kyping" from stores. If you "newer readers" dive into some of my older childhood posts, you'll understand why this skill was important in my family.
My project turned out pretty good considering nobody helped me with it at all. I finished it the night before it was due. I would have loved a ride to school the next morning, but there was no way that was going to happen, as my mom never came home the night before.
It was very awkward carrying it the entire mile to school. I might have made it without too much damage, if it hadn't started pouring about half way there. The cardboard roof wasn't protecting my mission at all. My only choice was to take off my jacket and use it to protect the mission instead. When I finally made it to school the mission was still in pretty good shape, but I was soaked to the bone...
Whatever good feelings I had about my work died a quick death as I saw all the other kids walking into the multi-purpose room with their parents carrying their damn missions. I was shocked at how nice they all were (thanks to their parents) and how crappy mine was. I was humiliated and once again reminded of just exactly who I was.
I picked my Mission San Juan Capistrano model up off of the table, dumped it in the nearest trash can, and walked back home in the rain. If I remember correctly, and I do I had to beat up a smart ass named Norman Chambers a couple of days later, because he was stupid enough to remind me how much my mission sucked.
As fate would have it, I now live only a few miles from that very same mission. EVERY time I drive by there, I think of Norman Chamber's face, as I was punching him for making fun of me...
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